Mother Talkers

Book Ban on King & King

by face121

Sat Dec 15, 2007 at 10:21:44 AM PDT

I found a blog at www.BEAGOODDAD.com about an attempt at banning the book King & King, and it sparked an interesting question.  When do people who don't have openly homosexual friends or family introduce different lifestyles to their children?  My half-sis doesn't know how to do it for her two kids.  It's kind of been a non-issue for my DH and I, since we both have openly gay and lesbian family that we are close with, my son is too young to care, and it's just always been ok as far as our 11 yo daughter is concerned. So what does anyone think? What advice can I give my sis?

I found out the reason my sis was concerned.  She thinks her oldest step son might be gay.  (He's 11).  Her husband is homophobic, but he knows it and is working on it.  She's trying to find a way to make her step-son feel comfortable and accepted, and get her husband to accept that it is a possibility.  She could be incorrect, but she needs him to know that he is loved and accepted no matter what.  The problem, Her step-kids do not live with her, and their mom is way more than homophobic.  I've only met her a couple of times, and she seriously gay-bashes (at family functions with all sorts of little kids present, without provocation).  There is a serious lack of education and life experience with her, and I kind of feel sorry for her, but now I'm really concerned about the boy.  Now I REALLY need advice on this.  My sis and her dh are trying to talk the mom into giving them custody as they can't afford an attorney.  (They have 2 kids under 2 and her dh shells out BIG bucks in child support, and the boy I'm referring to is the oldest of 3 with his ex, and they would like to take them all.)  So ladies, what wisdom can you pass to me that I may help my sis?  Thanks!

Tags: Gay, lesbian, book ban, family (all tags)

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  • I have this problem (0 / 0)

    All of our gay friends live in the US. I don't have any here...at least not since I left my last job. But you'll be surprised how it will naturally come up. My daughter was playing with the kids across the street (not necessarily my choice of companion...but they're right there!), and one day said "I love Lucia. I'm going to marry her." Marriage is a big theme right now. If you're friends with someone, or love them lots, you're going to marry them. She's also going to marry her brother. Anyway...the little boy said "You can't marry a girl!" And my daughter looked at me and said "I can marry anybody that I want to, can't I mom?". Of course I said something along the lines of "Marrying someone means that you love them and want to be with them. You can marry anyone that you want to." The little boy's mom and dad may never forgive me...especially the macho dad.

    Anyway...the point is that little kids don't have preconceived notions about this stuff. And it comes up. As long as you gently correct the playground ideas, they'll grow up to understand. I hope.

    by aussieyank on Sat Dec 15, 2007 at 05:12:03 PM PDT

    • so true (0 / 0)

      My son Eli wants to marry his best friend Graham. And me. And a girl named Skylar.  I told him he could marry anyone. Except me. Well, or any other relative.

      I say live your values and your beliefs and your kid will absorb it. If you truly believe that people should have the freedom to live with and love a person of either gender, then that's what you should say if they ask. You don't have to get into technical details when the kids are young, but if you don't say it plainly, they won't understand.

      My friend has a great way of saying it that I love.  "Some men have sweethearts who are women and some men who have sweethearts who are men.  Some women have sweethearts who are women and some have sweethearts who are men."  That's it.  That's that.

      If your child is gay, they'll know it.  If they know you are accepting of them, they'll know that, too.  And if you're not (which of course isn't the case here), well, they'll know that TOO!

      Miles and His Favorites: The World As Seen By a Seven Year Old

      by Hillary on Thu Dec 20, 2007 at 01:58:59 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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