The "Push Present"
Tue Dec 11, 2007 at 09:19:37 AM PDT
The New York Times reports today on a (supposed) trend toward pregnant women expecting an expensive gift from their partners following or near their delivery. New fathers are apparently expected to provide expensive jewelry, new hot tubs, sculptures or other similarly lavish gifts to the new mother because of the "gift" she is giving him of carrying their child.
WHEN Jena Slosberg of Bedford, N.H., gave birth in March, she endured a labor that lasted 17 hours. But her discomfort was ultimately worth it, quite apart from the arrival of her daughter, Marin. In the recovery room, her husband, Paul, presented her with a pair of diamond earrings.
“I was on cloud nine,” Ms. Slosberg said. “It was the perfect present to make a frazzled, sleep-deprived, first-time mommy feel absolutely glamorous.”
She added, “I wonder what 17 hours of labor will get me next time?”
In a more innocent age, new mothers generally considered their babies to be the greatest gift imaginable. Today, they are likely to want some sort of tangible bonus as well.
"Push present" - creative name, eh? Inappropriate for those who had a c-section, but hey.
A recent survey of more than 30,000 respondents by BabyCenter.com found that 38 percent of new mothers received a gift from their mate in connection with their child. Among pregnant mothers, 55 percent wanted one. About 40 percent of both groups said the baby was ample reward.
This bonus goes by various names. Some call it the “baby mama gift.” Others refer to it as the “baby bauble.” But it’s most popularly known as the “push present.”
Some people criticize the "trend" - if it is, indeed, a trend at all - as just another example of materialism run rampant.
“This isn’t the time to give a $200 piece of jewelry,” said Rhonda Grote, president of ThinkThoughtful.com, an online gift consulting company in Bradenton, Fla. “I do not think that because a woman has had a baby she requires a Tiffany & Company item. She requires help, love and emotional support.”
Ray Mears of Grand Haven, Mich., didn’t give his wife, Beth, gifts for any of their three children, the most recent of them in July. And that’s fine with both of them. “It’s a really bizarre and unnecessary thing for a woman to expect,” Ms. Mears said. “For one thing, lots of people are giving gifts to the mom, baby and entire family. Also, there’s a lot going on when a new baby is expected. It’s just not a nice time for a woman to demand that her partner get creative and think of ‘the perfect gift.’”
Did you expect or receive a "push present" from your spouse/partner after giving birth? Do you think this is something new mothers should expect?
The article doesn't address where adoptive families fit into the equation, as they seem to imply the gift is supposed to be sort of a reward for the discomfort of pregnancy, which I might have imagined was actually the child, but never mind.
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