Mother Talkers

Extended Breastfeeding

by Erika

Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 11:32:18 AM PDT

I've written before about how I went into motherhood a reluctant breastfeeder and ended up a proud lactivist.

But as much as I support breastfeeding and the moms who do it, I must admit the vivid descriptions in this column, by a British woman who is still nursing her 4-year-old, had me cringing:

From the age of two, my daughter started to switch breasts – that is to say, she would no longer feed on one breast, then sedately take the other. She would switch, sometimes manically, between the two, because she had learnt that the let-down (the flow of milk) is faster if you stimulate the breasts in this way. It was also about this time that she started a habit I find extremely annoying to this day: twiddling. While she fed off one breast she would twiddle the other nipple, as if trying to tune in to a short wave radio station. Again, this was to stimulate the milk so that when she did latch on to the second breast, it was all ready to go.

What I loved about nursing was the closeness and the comfort. Manic switching and nipple-twiddling, on the other hand, don't sound the least bit relaxing to me. In fact, it doesn't sound as if it was very relaxing for the author:

I found feeding between the ages of two and four quite hard at times. She needed to feed a lot, sometimes 50 feeds a day, although they were quick. When we moved house, her feeding became almost frenzied, as if she thought I would leave her.

50 times a day??? Bless this mama's heart! I don't even think I was nursing my daughter 50 times a day when she was an infant...and there's no way I could have tolerated four years of that.

Ultimately, it sounds as if this mom has hung on to nursing as a way to pacify and comfort her daughter:

I'm not sure how I would have met her needs so quickly during this time without breastfeeding. And I'm not sure I could have parented during the terrible twos without it: it was like having an entire cavalry at your beck and call. Breasts are a powerful parenting tool.

I nursed my daughter for 14 months, and weaned her very gradually, as I was no longer making enough milk to satisfy her. Working full-time is not conducive to nursing, but I lasted longer than I expected and like to think my robust and healthy daughter reaped a lot of the benefits of mother's milk.

In retrospect, I wish I could have hung on until closer to her 2nd birthday (and plan to nurse a litle longer should I have another child). But in many ways, I was relieved to have my body back after 9 months of pregnancy and 14 months of nursing.

There are times I wish I could have those "powerful parenting tools" back...like when we're trapped on an airplane and my daughter is fussy and tired. There's nothing like sticking a boob in a fussy baby's mouth for instant peace and quiet.

But as my daughter quickly approaches her 3rd birthday, I can't imagine myself still nursing her, no matter how fond those memories. What about you ladies? For those of you who nursed, how did you decide when to stop? And for those of you who breastfed for an extended period of time, was it a conscious decision or an organic one? And when did you know it was time to wean?

  • ::
Poll

Extended breastfeeding is...

27%28 votes
33%34 votes
39%41 votes

| 103 votes | Vote | Results

Tags: breastfeeding, extended, societal norms, lactivism (all tags)

Permalink | 95 comments

  • Depends on the child... (0 / 0)

    Ari weaned himself at 9 months as he was so distracted and independent. I was relieved to have my body back to myself, too. If extended feeding is that woman's description, then that is not for me!

    I also disagree with you that working full-time is not conducive with breastfeeding. Of course, it depends on what you do for work...but my experience is that I will go longer with Eli because I am not tied round-the-clock to the baby as I was with Ari. I was a SAHM with Ari so sometimes I felt trapped like can I have a little distance from the baby?

    But with Eli, I am working four days a week and I have a comfortable pumping schedule. my milk falls at predictable hours so I pump three times a day on those days, and at least once a day for her next night feeding. Like Ari, she is independent and knows how to hold her own bottle so I let her feed herself at night. On my days off, I nurse her at least three times, if not more, in the morning -- and I do enjoy the closeness. But again, I will let her give me cues as to when she's had enough. Hopefully, that is at least a year of nursing. (My goal.)

    She is a biter though -- owie!

    by Elisa on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 11:42:01 AM PDT

    • Full-time, outside the home jobs (0 / 0)

      It can be tricky to take enough breaks to pump and ensure a steady milk supply, even with supportive employers.

      I still remember the first time I had to leave the office for an assignment that was about 100 miles away. I toted my pump along and was panicked when my breasts started getting engorged and I started leaking. I was fully prepared to pump in my car-- even had an adapter that plugged my pump into the car's cigarette lighter.

      Thankfully, I happened to drive past a Babies R Us and ended up using their mother's room to pump. I was SO freakin'releived.

      I was also lucky in that I had 5 months maternity leave. Many women have to return to full-time jobs much sooner than that. So I think for the majoroty of women, working full-time is not conducive to nursing.

      by Erika on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 11:51:25 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • When you say weaned himself (0 / 0)

      do you mean to formula?  

      by anarchist mom on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 03:58:23 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • that's when we quit (0 / 0)

      four serious bites in a row and she was lucky I didn't throw her across the room! (oh, i am SO kidding). She'd look at me out of the corner of her eye... she meant it, too. This was about 7 months. I wish it had gone on a little longer, but she was just done!

      if you wobba cypress trees then I will wobba you

      by thais on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:59:00 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Two of mine nursed for somewhere (0 / 0)

    between 18 months and two years...don't remember the exact dates or ages.  The "50 times a day" is when I began putting an end to it...these guys treated me like a drinking fountain.  By that age, they were also quite willing to help themselves...no matter what I might be doing.  Not for me past that stage.

    The others weaned at about a year to about 14 months, except for my last daughter.  I had to wean her at about eight weeks due to health problems I was having.  

    Interestingly enough, I almost always started having periods again about the time my nursing babies were a year old.  Explains why those of us who do genealogy always notice that most women historically had babies every 18 months to two years.

    by tjb22 on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 11:42:04 AM PDT

    • "quite willing to help themselves" (0 / 0)

      that visual made me giggle.

      My period came back when DD was 10 months old. I was bummed!

      by Erika on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 11:55:05 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Hey...just like it sounds! (0 / 0)

        by tjb22 on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:32:33 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • that used to happen to me too- (0 / 0)

          when i weaned my two year old i put oversized band aids on my nipples, and told her they were broken now- no more milk.

          and a few days into weaning i was sitting at the computer and my daughter walked over and helped herself and we were both surprised by the bandaids- i was so distracted i would have just gone ahead and let her do it if the bandaids weren't on.

          once i saw a deer trying to cross the road, and her little one kept trying to nurse, so she couldn't do it.  i felt so bad for that poor deer- the mommy deer, that is.

          i think the 50x a day estimate is totally possible- if i was ever sitting or lying still my kids would always help themselves.  i had to keep moving if i wanted to be left alone.

          by thankgodforairamerica on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:54:45 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

      • Mine (0 / 0)

        came back after FOUR MONTHS even though I nursed for 10! I was so ticked!!!!

        by lilianna28 on Wed Nov 21, 2007 at 09:39:20 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • drinking fountain (0 / 0)

      that's a great way to put it. I nursed my twins for 14 mos, until my DD started treating me like a drinking fountain. I had always thought of it was drinking the way she would from a sippy cup -- a few sips and then she is ready to play again. Ten minutes later, she wants a few more sips. That's when I decided it was time to be done.

      DS was more challenging. He still nursed a lot at that stage and every night in the middle of the night. I stopped with him mainly because it seemed like he was never going to sleep through the night as long as I nursed him in the middle of the night. I was exhausted at that point.

      And my period came back when my twins were 7 months old. I truly did sit down and cry.

      by Lisa in Austin on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 12:02:01 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Yeah, I really didn't like feeling (0 / 0)

        totally like a security blanket.  I was always happy if my babies were old enough to go directly to a sippy cup so we could skip bottles altogether.  Usually happnened...with a couple, we had to allow a transition to bottles for a month or so.

        by tjb22 on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:33:53 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • same experience for me (0 / 0)

      I started my period again when Jess was about 10.5 months. Jess weaned about a month later. I think you make a really good point about geneology - my mom's mom had my uncle, my aunt and my mother at about roughly 2 years apart. I'm wondering if I could get up the courage to ask her about that... ;-)

      On that subject, my grandmother is a very practical woman and I'm close to her, but we've never had any conversations particularly related to gyno/obstetric related conversations. But I was speaking with her just after Jess was born and she said to me, "You and Anthony be careful with what you're doing. After Jake and I had Alan [my uncle], well, we didn't have TV in those days and Carol [my aunt] came along a lot sooner than we might have expected!" We just about died giggling together!

      by Rachel on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 01:47:03 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Mine was 2 1/2 (0 / 0)

    He started twiddling and switching pretty early on, maybe before 12 months of age. I didn't like either and gradually stopped both. I got him twiddling his belly button or mine, which he still does (he's over 3 now). We weaned gradually and never did 50 times per day! By the time we finished, it was just bedtime for a long time.

    "We've GOT to make noises in greater amounts! So, open your mouth, lad! For every voice counts!"

    by progressiveinky on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 11:58:22 AM PDT

    • same here (0 / 0)

      toward the end, we were nursing at bedtime only.

      twiddling the belly button...cute.

      my daughter is still quite drawn to my breasts. She will occasionally try to grab a nipple for no apparent reason, and say, "Mami boobie!" I try not to react too strongly because I don't want her to think boobs are "dirty" or "forbidden", especially not at her young age. But I do have to suppress the urge to giggle.

      by Erika on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 12:01:59 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • boobies (0 / 0)

        Yes, Eli still thinks mine belong to him, and he weaned 4 years ago!

        I tell him gently that they are "my body" and that I don't wish to be touched there.  Not in a particularly reproving tone or anything.  It is hard not to laugh when he shoves his hand down my shirt when I'm snuggling him at bedtime, though.

        Miles and His Favorites: The World As Seen By an Eight Year Old

        by Hillary on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 01:11:11 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • Us too... (0 / 0)

        Mine loves the boobies and can't take his mind/eyes off of them when he sees them. Forget taking a quick shower together b/c he just stares at them. He likes to snuggle into them at bedtime also. Isn't that funny that they hold on to that attachment?  They may not even know why, just that the boobies are soothing.

        "We've GOT to make noises in greater amounts! So, open your mouth, lad! For every voice counts!"

        by progressiveinky on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 07:00:13 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  • It's so individual (0 / 0)

    DD nursed until about a month past her 3rd birthday. Never did I imagine I would nurse as long as I did but there you have it.  For me, personally, I had to draw boundaries.  From about 18 months on....we worked on her asking, not just grabbing.  I would go insane with the kind of switching this woman describes!  On the other hand, I know mamas IRL who do this w/ patience and grace.  By age 2, nursing was pretty much an at home affair for us...down to maybe 3 times a day -- 50 would have driven me insane!  That's me though...I'm big on personal space and boundaries.  I wanted DD to learn to respect that.

    For us, nursing was a huge tool in my aresenal of parenting tools.  Weaning was an opportunity to expand my toolbox so to speak and it has benefited all of us.  She weaned, btw, with a small bribe and has not looked back!

    by Pastry Demon on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 12:04:57 PM PDT

  • definitely depends on the child (0 / 0)

    Jess weaned herself at 11.5 months - literally from one feed to the next. But while I was surprised (and a little bit sad) at the time, it's actually true to her character. She's very independent by nature.

    I have to say, I loved breastfeeding and I'd certainly recommend it to any expectant mother, although y'alls know that I'm agnostic when it comes to the breast v bottle debate. I really enjoyed the snuggles and in terms of ease, whipping out a breast is much easier than prepping a bottle (having done formula supplements with Jess, I can testify!). I definitely get that tingle when I see other mothers breastfeeding their babies.

    I have no particular hangups about how long to nurse; I'd like to go a year with the next baby (touch wood) and a bit longer if that's what the baby wants. I'm just hoping that getting the second baby going with breastfeeding is an easier process than with Jess.

    by Rachel on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 01:50:53 PM PDT

    • I breast fed just because (0 / 0)

      I enjoyed it, too.  And for me, it turned out to certainly be the simplest method of feeding.  I found that out when I had to wean my youngest at about 8 weeks or so.  

      And after 12 years, when I hear a baby cry, I can still feel as if I'm going to let down.  I think the body's learned response this way makes breastfeeding easier after the first time.  I was amazed at how easy it was...it was as if my body had just remembered how to do it.  It just seemed as if I had picked up where I'd left off with the last one.  

      by tjb22 on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 02:05:06 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Breastfeeding as I type this... (0 / 0)

    Baby Monkeybiz is four-and-a-half weeks old, and is a champion nurser. I'm shooting for two years of breastfeeding with her.

    Little Monkeybiz nursed until he was just shy of two. It was constant feedings in the first year and then a gradual decline -- nursies at naptime only, and then we were done. He was so excited about having his very own sippy cups that he never looked back.

    That didn't stop him from shoving his hand down my shirt for a long time afterward. We'd be in a restaurant, or I'd be carrying him in the sling and voop! Hand down shirt. My line was, "Honey, no. The breasts need privacy." (Trust me, this made the men around us snicker.)

    Nipple twiddle. Ouch. Yeah, that didn't last long. I love the idea of belly button exploration instead.

    I couldn't do more than two years of nursing, myself -- and certainly wouldn't if my child were able to retrieve a sippy from the fridge, which is where I think I draw the line. At that point, nutrition is not (as much of) an issue, and there are other options for closeness and pacification.

    Um, am I the only one who refers to her boobs as "Meals Ready to Eat"? ;-)

    by monkeybiz on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 03:00:06 PM PDT

  • Depends on the child... and the mother (0 / 0)

    Breastfeeding is a relationship, first and foremost.  There's give and take for both the mother and the child.  When someone's unhappy, it's time to make changes.  Everyone's tolerance for things like breast switching and nipple twiddling is different.  Breast switching never bothered me, but nipple twiddling... forget about it!  

    I find it surprising to hear that this woman's child nursed 50 times a day between the ages of 2 and 4.  Both my kids nursed with decreasing frequency the older they got.  I think I would have had a hard time with 50 times a day personally... but again, everyone's threshold for these things is different.  

    Extended breastfeeding happened pretty organically for me.  I breastfed Grant until he was 6 weeks shy of his 5th birthday.  He nursed through my pregnancy with Madeline and after she was born, we tandem nursed.  Occasionally, when I was up for it, that would mean one kid on each breast... which again is not for everyone.  I remember quite fondly having Grant directly on my lap, with his infant sister on his stomach crossed the opposite way.  He used to hold her hand while she gazed into his eyes.  

    I grew tired of tandem nursing when Grant got older... and he was so big for his age, that my legs would literally fall asleep while he was on my lap.  So, with some prodding from me, he weaned.  Madeline's still nursing.  She'll be five in January.  I have been asking her if she's considered weaning.  She says, she's thinking about it.  I'm going to start prodding her along in the spring, as for us, I can't image nursing a kindergartner.  Nothing wrong with it, just not something I'm looking to do.  I think she's almost done... as she barely nurses at night before bed.  We'll probably have a weaning party to mark the occasion like we did with Grant... boob cake and all LOL.

    Extended breastfeeding is not a contest.  Whatever works for your family is what's best.  I've been lactating for 7+ years.  It's weird to think of it in a context like that.  I feel it's just another part of my relationship with my children.  I'm sure I'll look back on it wistfully someday!

    "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

    by 1plain1peanut on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 03:10:29 PM PDT

    • "I'm thinking about it" (0 / 0)

      LOL! That is too cute.

      And I love the idea of a weaning party.

      7 years lactating! my hat's off to you, mama. I know nursing isn't a contest but that is no small feat.

      by Erika on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 03:44:30 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Thanks, Erika... (0 / 0)

        I've been thinking about this since I posted and I have to say... I don't know how I got here!  I swear when I was pregnant w/Grant I figured I'd try to nurse for 6 months and it was only after I learned that a year was recommended, that I'd try for a year.  I don't think any mother sets out to breastfeed a four year old, that's for sure!

        "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

        by 1plain1peanut on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:09:49 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • I think the author just meant sometimes she (0 / 0)

      would nurse 50 times a day, even between the ages of 2 and 4.  It's probably an exageration, I don't know if 50 time is humanly possible, LMAO.  I guess twice an hour huh?

      I breastfed for 2.5 years almost exact.  I plan on breastfeeding my son until he is 3 (or whenever he is done, although I'm pretty sure I'll be done by 3).  There were times after the age of two, particularly when DD was sick, that she would really want to nurse frequently, and it calmed her tummy, and comforted her, and it helped her fight the illness, and it was a lot of small feeds (didn't want to make her sick or throw up more).  So, I don't think its so crazy that there could be bouts of nursing frenzies in these year.  Those two years can also be very emotionally tumultuous at times, and I missed nursing at some of those times.  

      I do like LLL's idea that nursing is mothering.  It is a relationship, as you say, and like any relationship, you can compromise or you can quit.  And either partner is free to do this at anytime, its all about individual choice and consent.

      I like the idea of child led weaning, but I was so tired of nursing by the time DD was 2.5, mostly because my daughter still wanted to nurse at night and it got a tad old (yes even with the cosleeping).  Even after that, she would wake up in the middle of the night and be so hungry, but I'd give her a banana and some water.  She still eats lots of small meals come to think of it, and has to have a snack to help her last the whole night, and she's 4.5.  And you know, what?  It's still exhausting, LOL, although I think its a good habit in the long term.  3 solid meals sure would be convenient.

      I think extended breastfeeding emerges organically for most women, it seems like I just read something about that in a study of Australian extended breastfeeders, only 7% had planned to nurse past 2.  I told my husband I could only promise a minimum of 6 months (when I knew little) then as I learned more about the benefits, I said 12 months.  By the time the year rolled around, I was like why stop?  I felt a lot of pressure to stop, and that instantly made me want to keep going just to make others uncomfortable (and some people get really uncomfortable about this stuff if you've never noticed), LMAO.  When people would ask me when I was going to stop, I'd say, when she goes to college.  

      No, really what happened is in a year, you learn a lot.  And one thing I learned was that the majority opinion on child rearing (and that's everything, even bf) mattered very little to me anymore.  Prior to that, it didn't effect me so I never thought of it in a critical light.  But when I lived exclusive breastfeeding, and pumping for 8 months, and then extended breastfeeding, it was almost necessary for me to become informed and even somewhat militant in order to persevere.  I'm an unabashed lactivist at this point, but was completely clueless up until the day my daughter was born.  

      by anarchist mom on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 04:22:58 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • I thought the same of 50x day (0 / 0)

        that would be, like, twice an hour, every hour!

        by Rachel on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 04:26:56 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • very true (0 / 0)

        I felt a lot of pressure to stop, and that instantly made me want to keep going just to make others uncomfortable (and some people get really uncomfortable about this stuff if you've never noticed), LMAO.

        From the time my daughter was about 8 months old, people (especially relatives) started asking me, "When are you going to stop nursing?"

        In retrospect, WTF??? Why were people so concerned about that?

        I wonder if it did play into my decision to wean her at 14 months, in a subconscious way. I felt somewhat ready to give it up, but not completely.

        Next time, I hope to stop when I feel more ready.

        by Erika on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 04:51:47 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • my MIL (0 / 0)

          only breastfed her first, my SIL, for a few weeks and then was told by her doctor to start formula, and that was that - she bottle fed her other three as well. When we got back to Australia, she would make little comments like "oh, my babies put on weight faster once I gave them a bottle." Or, "as soon as you wean, you'll see, she'll get to a healthy weight." GRRRRRRR

          I am pretty sure she was just trying to be helpful, but it totally got on my nerves. I'm bullheaded, though, and it just made me all the more determined to keep bf Jess!

          by Rachel on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 05:09:43 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        • Yes! (0 / 0)

          My family was the same way. The problem is a generation ago, formula was seen as the healthier, more modern choice. So they are completely wigged out by, especially, my lack of modesty around public nursing. :-)

          But the comments drive me crazy!

          by Elisa on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:26:45 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        • I ran into a lot of that, too. (0 / 0)

          My family was fairly understanding, but 20 years ago, most women were weaning by 6 months or so.  My sister in law and I used to wonder what was so threatening to so many people about the relationship between a nursing mother and her baby.

          My mother, who fed all of us formula, was absolutely amazed at how much "cleaner" breast fed babies were...she was used to the awful spit up that milked based formulas produced.

          by tjb22 on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:31:26 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

      • 50 times a day... (0 / 0)

        I bet it can seem like that at times, LOL!  I know what you mean about breastfeeding a sick child.  I was really thankful for being able to do that.  Funny... Grant weaned the same year a friend of mine weaned her extended breastfed daughter.  That first winter w/o breastfeeding was a doozy.  Lots of time off from school due to illnesses for both our kids.  We don't know if it was a coincidence or not.  

        "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

        by 1plain1peanut on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:12:18 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • bitty (0 / 0)

        When people would ask me when I was going to stop, I'd say, when she goes to college.  

        you reminded me of little britain

        do you ever watch it?

        the grown man who still nurses popped into my head- not bitty later.  bitty now.

        by thankgodforairamerica on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 06:43:18 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • did you really make a boob cake? (0 / 0)

      that's hilarious!

      by thankgodforairamerica on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 06:40:06 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • We stopped nursing (0 / 0)

    when I was ready to stop nursing.  I never really enjoyed it - I mean, I never got any wonderful glow or anything...I did it because it was free and easy.   There's absolutely no way I could have done it any longer than I did with any of my kids.  I could not have put up with having them run up and jump on or lift my shirt or any of that.  I'm just not capable of doing that.  If my kids could take a cup then they could take a cup - I can snuggle them just fine without nursing them.   I like having my body to myself and I couldn't extended nurse.  

    "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

    by lonestar canuck on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 03:42:56 PM PDT

    • goes to the relational aspect (0 / 0)

      every one of us has a slightly different relationship with our preferred mode of feeding (I cast the net wide to include bottle feeding). Emotional, practical, pragmatic. Doesn't really matter so long as it's what's healthiest for the family on all levels!

      by Rachel on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 04:28:05 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • sh'yeah (0 / 0)

        Well this thread and the stories of nursing older children is only making me more firm about my decision to cut them off when I did.  I love my kids and all but I like to not have to be around them all the time.  

        Everyone else is free to do whatever they like of course.  

        "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

        by lonestar canuck on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:54:49 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • you don't have to be around them all the time (0 / 0)

          You can leave for two or three weeks and still nurse when you get back.  You can maintain a small milk supply for a surprisingly long time, even years.  

          With the little ones of course, pumping gives you a break.  I got out as much as a new mom probably needs to by pumping.  Everyone needs a break!

          by anarchist mom on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 08:59:28 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Right (0 / 0)

            but I don't want to be attached to them like that for years and years.  Good on ya for being happy with your choices but it's not for me.  I nursed as long as I wanted to.  We do a lot of "mother led" stuff around here and weaning was one of them.  If I let them decide for themselves all the time we'd never get anything done.  

            "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

            by lonestar canuck on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:22:23 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            • term (0 / 0)

              "Mother-led"

              That's a good term.

              We do a lot of mother-led stuff around here too.  : )

              by NJmom on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:38:02 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              • A friend of mine (0 / 0)

                (who has 6 kids and homeschools...) once said that her children "joined her life already in progress".  I like to take that philosophy with most of what I do with my kids.  I love my kids and my kids love me but I do not have to be the centre of their little universes.  

                Again, no judgement for anyone who wants to do it differently, this is just how I roll...whatever that means.  

                "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

                by lonestar canuck on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 07:38:12 AM PDT

                [ Parent ]

  • Extended to two years is one thing (0 / 0)

    Four years, IMHO, is for the mother's "ego" more than anything else.  A four year old who is nursing 50 times a day for comfort is not a happy child, and it doesn't sound like the mom was happy either.  Using words like frantic and manic to describe nursing sounds like torture!  I am a breastfeeding fan, but I am wary of situations where it seems like the mother is doing it for her own emotional needs, or where the child's emotional growth is being ignored.

    by Sue in Queens on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 05:26:49 PM PDT

    • I can tell you (0 / 0)

      3+ years was NOT for my ego. I thought that with complete certainty as well before going that long though. I nursed that long as it seemed really important to her, and I believe it was.  I honestly never got that "glow" nor did I ever really enjoy it that much beyond it was easy, free and she loved it.  My social group consists of a mix of "nurse 'em until they leave for college" and "wean 'em at 12 months" so I didn't ever feel I had to fit in with some mold.  I can tell you totally honestly that my ego was never a part of it at all.

      by Pastry Demon on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 06:16:41 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • I wasn't enamored with it either (0 / 0)

        come to think of it.  In hindsight I am, I look forward to nursing my son.  Maybe it's because Iit  I have a good friend who breastfed her daughter until she was five, and ego had nothing to do with it.  When children get older, they verbalize how much it means to them.  And if it is something they enjoy that much, what is wrong with it?  Once again, it's a relationship (thanks plain peanut) so if both are happy and content, then what is the problem?  It has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with mutual love and respect, and if you can find yourself in a relationship that you are able to negotiate happily and they are able to negotiate happily, then I think it can only be a positive experience.  

        by anarchist mom on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 06:37:49 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • Yeah (0 / 0)

          I nursed dd for three years, and ego didn't enter into it.  It really came naturally, since my mom did the same with my younger brother, and it wasn't unusual in my community.  I must say, I was very grateful to have the option when she was sick or hurt.  

          I had to put some firm limits around it starting on her first birthday, because I never really enjoyed it and swore I wouldn't nurse to the point where I was resenting it.  She was most attached to nursing when she got up in the mornings, so we kept that up the longest.  I can almost buy nursing a child of four 50 times a day, though.  Dd was very attached to the breast and would probably still nurse from morning to night if I allowed it.  And I would be miserable.

          by Erin on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 09:55:03 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • so (0 / 0)

            did DD cut out when you were pregnant with Milo? How is she now that Milo is nursing?

            by Rachel on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 02:58:16 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            • Very early in my pregnancy (0 / 0)

              I knew I didn't have the constitution to tandem nurse.  She's fine with Milo nursing.  I prepared her for the fact that he would nurse, and allowed her to have a little taste once or twice.  She didn't like it, which is funny considering how attached she was for so long.  

              by Erin on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 09:48:29 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              • I have a cousin (in-law) (0 / 0)

                here who fell pregnant when her first baby was, like, five months old. She nursed all the way through the pregnancy and the little one weaned when the breastmilk went back to colostrum. My cousin was totally prepared to tandem nurse, but the older daughter just never wanted back. I had a lot of respect for her for continuing through the pregnancy - my goodness, I remember being bone-weary through the first trimester; this combined with breastfeeding?! Yikes!

                by Rachel on Wed Nov 21, 2007 at 01:46:19 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

    • I don't think (0 / 0)

      there are many moms who do it for their egos.  Sure, there's probably the odd woman who does it to feel like super-mommy, but she's a rarity.  I don't think anyone who breastfeeds a child beyond a year, really consciously sets out to do it.  

      I don't feel that a child who is breastfed beyond a year has any danger of his emotional growth being ignored.  On the contrary, I feel his emotional needs are being enhanced by the breastfeeding... as long as the breastfeeding relationship is mutually amicable.  This is key.  

      And, the breastfeeding relationship definitely changes as your child grows.  I have to tell you that for me, it's almost an afterthought now.  Those early weeks and months where it almost seems totally consuming are so far behind me now.  I sometimes have to remind myself that I'm still breastfeeding, since it's certainly not often.  And, there are very few people that know I'm still doing it.  I stopped breastfeeding my children in public when they turned 3.  That was my comfort range... other mothers may feel comfortable stopping that sooner or later.  But since it's not seen, most people we know don't have a clue that Madeline's still nursing.  

      "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

      by 1plain1peanut on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:27:27 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • True that (0 / 0)

        I remember (when DD was an infant and we finally got the hang of nursing) thinking that women who breastfed for as long as I ended up doing it had themselves too wrapped up in an image of themselves as "super mother" or something like that. Boy was I wrong!

        I am actually looking forward to nursing my son (due in 3 weeks).  It will be interesting to see how that develops.  I'm certainly not hung up on any set date to stop.

        by Pastry Demon on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 06:40:44 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • honestly (0 / 0)

      that was the impression I got from the woman who wrote this column in particular...that there was some ego involved in her decision. Could be totally wrong, but I think that's why it made me cringe.

      And honestly, I mourned when I stopped nursing, and I think my ego was involved too. I was sad that my daughter no longer "needed" me...which is a patently stupid and ridiculous way to feel, but there it was.

      by Erika on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 03:15:35 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Is it ego when you mourn nursing? (0 / 0)

        In my case, anyway, I don't think so.  It's just being sad to see your babies grow up.  I have so many fond memories of her with a giant milky grin, its sad to see them grow up.

        by anarchist mom on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:43:36 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • It's not sad to see them grow up (0 / 0)

          it's fabulous.  It's freaking fantastic.  They're so much more fun when they're older.   I (this is a big surprise, I'm sure) didn't mourn nursing any more than I mourned them learning to walk or talk or getting them out of diapers.  You can't hang on to any one moment with them - the joy's the ride.  

          The world opens up and they're totally cool people.   Babies are okay but kids are wicked cool.    

          "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

          by lonestar canuck on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 07:05:10 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • I admire your outlook (0 / 0)

            I'm a hopeless sap and mourn every part of her development. It really blindsided me to feel this way, never expected that would come with motherhood. It's a blast to watch her grow, of course...sometimes it just feels so fleeting and precious!

            by Erika on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 07:11:38 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          • Thank you. (0 / 0)

            And as mine become adults, I'm enjoying it even more!  

            by tjb22 on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 07:54:52 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          • I think every new development is exciting (0 / 0)

            in fact when DD was a baby,  I couldn't wait for those things.  Even now, I can't wait to do so much with her.  That doesn't mean it's not sad when they grow up, or that you can't miss those times when they were a baby.  I will definitely relish it more this time around, which is why I'll be in no hurry to end nursing, or for any of it really, crawling, walking, etc.  I just wish I knew then what I know now, they grow up too fast.

            by anarchist mom on Wed Nov 21, 2007 at 06:50:10 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        • in my case--yes, part of it was ego (0 / 0)

          not saying that's so for everyone. I was sad to see her grow up, but I was also sad to feel like she was outgrowing her need for me a little bit.

          by Erika on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 07:10:38 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  • 2.5 years & 6 weeks... (0 / 0)

    We weaned when my oldest was 2.5 and my youngest 6 weeks, due to a high risk pregnancy.  My plan had been to tandem nurse -- my oldest and our (adopted) new baby with the help of herbs, drugs & a supplemental nursing system.  But, since nursing while pregnant was out, they were both gently (but efficiently) weaned.

    Like with anything with a 2.5 year old, we set limits on nursing that worked well for our family.  She'd nurse more when she was sick or really tired, which was a nice option for me.  Usually though, I'd encourage her to eat or drink rather than frequent nursing and I felt free to say "not right now, but in a bit".  It was a really special time for us and I'm glad that we did it.  My guess is that we would have nursed until she was 3 or so, just less and less - mostly before naps & nightime.

    The benefits of extended breastfeeding are great -- especially from an immunological standpoint.  My youngest daughter had breastmilk that I pumped prior to her arrival, but I hope that she'll nurse once our 3rd baby arrives and my milk comes back.  I'll definitely give pumping a good shot, too, and see what we can get going for her to have in a bottle or cup.  Hopefully I can convince my body that I had twins!

    by Anu on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 05:43:25 PM PDT

    • fenugreek (0 / 0)

      I'm sure you've got all your research in, but when I was trying to get my supply up to spec after 10 weeks of improperly latching with Jess, a colleague of DH suggeted fenugreek tablets as a supplement. I tell you what, after 72 hours of six caplets with each meal, I was spouting like a fountain - it was like that first moment when the milk first comes in all over again. The woman also recommended fennel tea, and I drank that too. It really did the trick, but I do have to say that the fenugreek really did make my sweat smell a bit like maple syrup. Jess too. But a small price to pay.

      I'm sorry to hear you have a high risk pregnancy; did I gloss over you sharing that news? How are you feeling now?

      by Rachel on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:43:38 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Great recommendation on the fenugreek (0 / 0)

        And I'd also like to chime in that whole grains such as oats and barley are also excellent galactogogues in addition to fenugreek.  And they are also easy to add into a diet, whether you eat them as porridge or in a muffin or bread.

        "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

        by 1plain1peanut on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:48:20 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • Amazing stuff! (0 / 0)

        Yes, I used fenugreek and blessed thistle according to Dr Jack Newman's recommendations (available on his website) and had great results.  It's a good reminder for when this next babe arrives.

        Re: my pregnancy -- I have cervical incompetence and a history of preterm birth.  This pregnancy has been great though -- prophylactic cerclage at 14 weeks and now I'm 27 weeks.  If all goes well I'll have a healthy term boy!  My doctor also gave the go ahead for a VBAC, so we'll see how that goes.

        by Anu on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 12:57:29 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • Sending love (0 / 0)

          your way.  I still haven't met you (we really should fix that when the time is right) but I can tell you're an amazing mother.  I'm so glad your pregnancy is going well.  Congratulations on the little boy!

          by Erin on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 02:03:20 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Awww, thank you! (0 / 0)

            We're excited to have a boy, just like we were excited about our girls.  They're all fun...

            We'll definitely need to meet up.  Our kiddos are all around the same age and we're so close!

            by Anu on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:19:54 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        • blessed thistle (0 / 0)

          I hadn't heard of. I'll have to take a look. I'm definitely planning on necking the fenugreek again with number 2.

          I'm really glad to hear that you're having a healthy pregnancy. What happens with the cerclage - do they remove it when you hit term? When you go into labor? Sorry for the questions, but I'm just curious.

          by Rachel on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 03:00:00 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Depends (0 / 0)

            If I go into labor early they take it out.  Obviously they don't want someone in active labor to have a cerclage -- too likely to damage the cervix.  Otherwise it comes out at 36 weeks.  Mine should come out in an office visit (fingers crossed) and then I may or may not go into labor on my own.  If I do, so be it, if not we wait!

            Blessed thistle & fenugreek seem to work well together...  I loved the maple syrup smell, too!

            by Anu on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:18:44 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            • it gets me (0 / 0)

              when we have pancakes, I get that tingly let-down feeling as well. I love it. I don't think I'll ever have fenugreek out of my spice rack now just because the olefactory association is so pleasant.

              Good luck - you've got 9 more weeks to go to that point, right?

              by Rachel on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 06:49:26 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

  • I nursed my kids longer than average (0 / 0)

    2 years 6 months for dd and 3 years 9 months for ds.  

    I planned to nurse dd for at least one year, but when she neared that age it was clear that she had not intention of stopping and there wasn't really any good reason for me to insist that she stop.  I started going to LLL meetings for support, since I was the only person I knew who was "still" nursing an 11 month old.  I read "How Weaning Happens" twice and "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler".  But sustained breastfeeding seemed to work pretty well for us.  Even though intellectually I knew it was the best thing for my dd (for nutrition, health benefits and for comfort), I was shy about nursing my toddler in public sometimes.  So I tended to delay nursing sessions to times when we had privacy.  After an intense period of nighttime nursing around 18 months I consciously nightweaned dd over 4 months with the use of a nightlight connected to a timer and the rule "we only nurse when the light is on".  After I became pregnant #2 I learned about tandem nursing and decided it was not for me.  I weaned dd gradually over many months and one night when she was 2.5y she simply stopped asking to nurse.  Three days later she mentioned nursing, and then laughed and said "nursing is for BABIES!"

    My ds was our second and last child.  By this time I had friends who nursed older children, too, so I was learning to be more comfortable nursing a toddler in public.  I nightweaned him with the nursing nightlight when he was about 2, but after that his weaning was child-led.  I pretty much stopped nursing in public after he turned 3 because I was worried it might make other people feel uncomfortable and/or we might be harrassed.

    A word about nursing manners; kellymom.com has a whole page on the subject.  I didn't allow my children to switch nurse like the person in the column, nor did I allow "twiddling".  Or pulling on my clothes, or rubbing my face, or popping off and on, or anything else that might have bothered me or would have made it difficult to nurse in public.  They both bit me on and off when they were about 8 months old but they got over this common problem quickly and never did it again.

    Before I had children, I never could have imagined nursing them for as long as I did.  I just took it one day at a time and was pleased that it didn't seem particularly 'weird' after all.  When I weaned my dd at 2.5y I thought "I can't imagine nursing a child longer than that!" but then I did with the next child and it seemed perfectly natural.  (For the same reason, I also said "I can't imagine having to change a diaper on a three year old!" because my dd was toilet trained by her second birthday).  

    In both cases, weaning was straightforward and painless for both me and child, and I don't have any regrets.

    by Ecomama on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:19:29 PM PDT

    • I love this (0 / 0)

      I think it captures so many experiences.  I must say, after 12 months, I was real nervous about nursing in public. I think the last time I nursed in public I was warding off a huge tantrum in the middle of Barnes and Noble during the x-mas shopping season.  She was about 15 months, and there was no corner to hide.  I got some dirty looks needless to say, and at the time, I just did what I needed to do even if I was a little red faced about it (I broke a sweat even).  I was much more nervous then than I would be now, but as I said, I negotiated everything about breastfeeding as it came along.  It's a transformative experience, there is no doubt.

      I love kellymom by the way, I always recommend it to new nursers.

      by anarchist mom on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:50:42 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Nursing in public (0 / 0)

        I was a lot more comfortable w/#2 than #1 with this.  By the time #2 came around, I felt like a pro.  I became very adept at nursing my babies while they were in the sling.  The cloth from the sling usually covered their cheeks and my breast.  Most people thought they were sleeping unless they peeked in and got a surprise.  ;-)  I also loved having my hands free and being mobile while nursing them in the sling.  

        I know what you mean about nursing in public the first few times.  Trying to get a crying infant successfully latched on in a restaurant or store is no picnic.  I think going to LLL meetings and seeing other women nurse in public really helped my confidence.  I figured if they could do it, then so could I.

        "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

        by 1plain1peanut on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:59:08 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • I was very uncomfortable at first form what (0 / 0)

          I remember.  I hadn't seen many people breastfeed, of course I'm out here in Nebraska, this ain't California, LOL.  It took a lot of soul searching to understand why I felt so akward, and whether I should feel that way, and how to get over it.  I don't think I ever really did get over it as much as I wished I could.  It's just so hard to uninternalize the sexuality we place on breasts, and being a woman in America is no picnic whether you're breastfeeding or not.  We're so objectified, I've never felt truly comfortable in my own skin anyway!  Of course, at 27, I am now much more confident than I was at 23.  I'm ready to breastfeed my son everywhere.  In fact, I can't wait.  

          by anarchist mom on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 09:10:35 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        • i love my sling (0 / 0)

          i still use it, even though my littlest one doesn't nurse anymore

          and i wore nursing tops and dresses- that helped with privacy a lot

          what helped me deal w/ the experience of nursing in public was thinking that everyone would have no choice but to listen to my kids cry, but they didn't have to watch us nurse if they didn't want to- they could look at something else, and we could all have peace and quiet.

          by thankgodforairamerica on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:40:08 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Great point... (0 / 0)

            what helped me deal w/ the experience of nursing in public was thinking that everyone would have no choice but to listen to my kids cry, but they didn't have to watch us nurse if they didn't want to- they could look at something else, and we could all have peace and quiet.

            What a great way to look at it!  I think most people would prefer a happy content baby in a restaurant over a crying one.  

            "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

            by 1plain1peanut on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 06:29:00 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  • Jumping on the bandwagon (0 / 0)

    You have all put all of my thoughts down so eloquently, that I don't have much to add. I'll just say that I fed my DD through my pregnancy, and for a few months after. She was down to once a week by the time she was 2 and a few months, and then one day I realized that it had been a month since she asked (I mourned a little and put together a book for her, with pictures of us breastfeeding all over the world). She asked again soon after that, and tried, but then said "nope! It's all gone!". It wasn't...I was feeding her brother at that stage...she had just forgotten how. DS is now 19 months old. I figure we'll last until he's two or so. But I'll have to find a way of doing the weaning very gently, so that he forgets about it...I really don't want to just say "No. No more." I hope it can be as gentle as it was with his sister.

    As an added note...breastfeeding while pregnant sucks. No fun there at all. If DD hadn't been so young when I got pregnant, I wouldn't have done it. But she was just a baby when I got pregnant (okay..fifteen months...but still a baby to me), and then it was so close to the birth, and I didn't want her to associate it with getting a new brother...and it just sort of went on from there.

    And like some of you...I never intended to be a long term breastfeeder. It just happened over time. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I think that my limit might be between 2 and 3 years...but you never know.

    by aussieyank on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 08:50:01 PM PDT

    • i nursed while i was pregnant too (0 / 0)

      i read that the taste of milk changes during pregnancy and often the nursing child will wean because of the change in taste, but my daughter didn't- she kept going.

      i thought i would be thinner after i had the baby- i didn't lose much weight though, for all of the nursing.  my daughter was 23 months old when her sister was born, and she nursed for almost another year.  and the baby nursed for two years, then i weaned her.

      i think we had toddlers almost the same age.  

      by thankgodforairamerica on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 04:39:52 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • 5.2 and 2.6 (0 / 0)

    I breastfed my oldest daughter 'til after her 5th birthday.  She weaned herself. It just became rarer and rarer. I asked her after she had not nursed for 2 months if she were done, and she said yes.

    I did not put up with annoying habits like tweaking and switching--or breastfeeding "50 times a day".  It's a relationship, not martyrdom.

    I did not set out to breast feed this long.  But I knew somewhere near the beginning that I was going to be an extended breastfeeder. In this society, it was just hard to know what that means. People here don't believe a child would ever choose to stop on his own.  I sometimes worried, mostly because of socieital expectations. But by the fourth year,  I really feel like it was great and brought us closeness and calmness in a very push-me-pull-you kind of relationship.

    I am definitely going to let my second self-wean, and I feel much more confident about it having lived through the first.

    by wornoutstroller on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 08:52:05 PM PDT

    • Also.... (0 / 0)

      strangely enough, I had a fine time breastfeeding through pregnancy.  Sometimes I would get this incredible breast pain and the only thing that would relieve it was nursing.

      by wornoutstroller on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 08:58:06 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • I do regret (0 / 0)

      having to cut my daughter off, I wish I hadn't in hindsight.  She doesn't remember nursing and I wish she did, it was such a big part of our life it seems and she loved it so much.  It makes me get all weepy just thinking about it, LOL, hormones.  It wasn't traumatic or anything, but I think she would've loved to continue, maybe even to today! I think everyone mourns, even when it's totally child led.  

      by anarchist mom on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 09:21:51 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • I was just thinking (0 / 0)

        how weird it would be to be old enough to remember actually sucking on your mother's breasts. And I don't mean anything against your choice, at all. I also breastfed both of my children, and loved it -- but only for a brief while. The longest I did it was six months.
        I have much respect for breastfeeding mamas, but I'm just not comfortable with the idea of extended breastfeeding in my own situation.
        My son, who is 16, cringes whenever I mention that I breastfed him. Grosses him out.

        by Kay on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 08:46:21 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • i think my son can probably remember (0 / 0)

          i haven't asked him, though.  he's 14, and stopped just shy of his 4th birthday.

          maybe i'll ask him when he gets home from school.

          he would have kept it up- by then it was just at night time he wanted to

          i weaned him by letting him fall asleep in my bed watching kids' videos at bedtime- i would just wait to go to bed until he was already asleep.  i didn't tell him i was weaning him, and i thought he didn't notice.  he never mentioned it.

          a few weeks after he was weaned he fell ill and wanted to nurse (he used to call it suss)  

          i told him he didn't do that anymore- he yelled "i still suss!!   you just never let me!!!!!"

          by thankgodforairamerica on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 10:25:10 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        • My daughter is 4 (0 / 0)

          I don't think she'd probably want to talk about it much when she was 16 either, LOL.  

          I always think it's sad anytime anyone thinks it is gross though. I suppose given our culture, an adolescent boy wouldn't possibly be able to see around the whole BREAST=SEX hang up we have.  You can't fault him; that message is so loud and clear and directed right at his demographic.  

          by anarchist mom on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 05:40:33 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  • the wedding singer (0 / 0)

    the nipple twiddling reminded me of the movie the wedding singer

    You can't expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple-twisting that goes on there.

    all of my kids did that, and it drove me nuts- every day of my life was like a bad date

    by thankgodforairamerica on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 06:55:05 AM PDT

  • My kids are now 19 and 22 (0 / 0)

    I breast fed my first born, a son, until he was 7 months old.  I had an infection that needed to be treated with some powerful antibiotics and I did not want him exposed.  He was ready anyway because he hated to be turned inward.  He liked to look around and he'd try that while latched on.

    My daughter would never have stopped.  I had a chance to go to Scotland with my husband and we left the children with my Mom.  My daughter was 18 mos old so I had to wean her.  It was hard because she would sit with me all day and I loved it.

    She was fine with Grandma.  It was me who was a mess.  I felt like I wanted to take every darling baby I saw in a stroller in Scotland.

    My daughter was as big as a three year old at 18 mos and had been walking since 10 mos.  I did receive some looks.  My mother-in-law thought it was barbaric.  She did not breast feed any of her kids.

    by janetle on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 12:01:33 PM PDT

    • "barbaric" (0 / 0)

      what a horrid thing. I've always been agnostic when it comes to the whole breast/bottle/weaning process, but that feeling only became intensified after becoming a mom. As I said above, I bf until Jess weaned at 11.5months, and we supplemented some with formula. I would encourage pregnant friends to bf because I enjoyed it, but I'm never gonna get judgemental if they don't, or if they do and bf longer than I did. I mean, rude! And to call something like that "barbaric"? How cruel.

      by Rachel on Tue Nov 20, 2007 at 03:03:07 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

Permalink | 95 comments