between age 12 and 23.  When my kids were young, I have to admit being very fearful of the teenage years.  However, I've been pleasantly surprised...overall, I've really enjoyed watching my children develop into adults.  Not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.

We've been very open with our kids.  Frankly, I wouldn't know how to do it any other way.  We talk about everything.  We aren't big on punishment, rather we tend to use problems as learning experiences.  We realize that certain behaviors are normal during these years, and if a behavior became problematic, we'd certainly intervene...but you know, it's rarely been necessary.  We have certain expectations that are well understood by the time our kids enter this period, and I think that helps.  We respect privacy unless there is a compelling reason to suggest we need to do otherwise.  Honestly, my kids tend to tell me about the things that other kids would hide from parents.  This, ofcourse, means that as a parent, one needs to listen and not freak out.

My kids have been much tamer as teenagers/young adults than I was.  There's been a very small amount of experimenting with drinking, but this has been when they were in the 17-20 year old period.  Its been very mild, and frankly, done mainly at home.  A  few drinks seems to satisfy that urge to experiment.

None of mine have been sexually active before the age of 18.  All with only one partner, in long term relationships.  They've been very responsible with birth control.  That was a point I hammered into their heads for years.

We aren't "religious", but we set what I consider to be high moral expectations.  I share my belief system with my kids, but in the end, each of us has to find our own spiritual path.  It would be great if we could do this for them, but we can't.  

and my joke when she was younger was i planned on being senile when she hit her teens. the difference with teens is the stakes seem to be higher at this age than when they were younger.  the best advice i rec'vd was to change my thinking from being a manager to a coach, and that is a difficult transistion as a parent. random tips below:

1.  be there and keep communication high without hovering.

2.  trust your gut.  the only time i have gotten in trouble parenting my teen was when i didn't listen to my gut. but that actually is good for everything in my life.  it is a great thing to instill in your teen too if you can find the right teaching moments to do so.

3.  talk to them until your blue in the face about drugs alochol and sex.  be specific about your expectations and why.  do all you can to expose them to science/fact based education on all 3 subjects.

4. practice how to handle the teen objections of "you don't trust me" and "everyone else is doing it".  

5. talk and check with your the parents of your teen's friends.  know who is on the same page with you and who isn't.

lastly, the one thing that blows me away about teen parenting is watching all that potential begin to blossom.  the wonder of the whole world ahead of them is one of the most exciting moments of parenting so far.

and not give my own opinion without first acknowledging hers.  Maybe it's just my kid, but she's very sensitive to not being taken seriously, so if I start talking without really listening to her, she shuts me out.

The hardest part for me is the INTENSE emotionality of these years.  I know (from my elderly perspective) that this is a phase; things even out emotionally when you leave HS.  But I can't tell her that (see above about not taking her seriously), so I try to give perspective and help her see the longer view, and try not to get caught up in the emotion.

We've been lucky that drugs/sex/drinking have not been a part of my DD's life (maybe some drinking, but very little).  We do talk about it, though - a friend was just expelled from school for selling pot in school and then threatening the younger student who told the teacher.  We spent alot of time talking about responsibility and consequences.  It's a little easier right now with DD because she's totally focused on college, and wouldn't want to jeopardize that.  BUT she thought I was too harsh on her friend, and that adults don't understand how loyal teens are to their friends, even when they're stupid.

The funniest thing for me is I'm a liberal, but I was a total "square" in High School - no BTDT perspective to share with my DD.

will forewarn about the teen years.  But I found them to be (mostly) great and amazingly enjoyable.  My dd turned 17 yesterday and my ds turned 21 in October.  I love the journey of these years because there is such an explosion of growth and individuation.  I think all relationships are a mixture of challenge and smooth sailing though and having children probably poses the greatest opportunity for our own growth along with the growth of our kids.  Turbulence is part and parcel of change and if there is anything that stays a constant in a family, it is continuous change.  

Although I wouldn't want to go back and relive the years that have passed by, I do get wistful and miss the idea of young children in our home, but am  happy to be through those years as well.

Sometimes I feel sad for kids growing up these days because it seems like their world is fraught with so much negativity in media and culture...but then I think that all generations have felt similiar as  the next generation grew up and then I take a deep breath just keep moving forward doing the best I can.