after my own heart.  Birth experiences were very important to me.  I first gave birth 22 years ago.  Talk about having to fight!  It was difficult finding doctors and hospitals that would offer even the most minimal of concessions.  Over the years, I went to great lengths to find providers.  I was often referred to as "crazy" or "obsessed".  Obsessed?  Well.  I did find providers, and other than the first pregnancy in which I experienced complications and was transferred to another, larger hospitals, I had GREAT experiences.

You do have to inform yourself.  I always just cringe at many of the routine practices carried out in hospital deliveries.  I would encourage everyone to know what the real recommendations are and to insist upon those.  One of the big fights back in the 80's was against routine episiotomies and delivery tables in which one was strapped down in the classic position.  This was despite much research saying that both of these practices were not only unnecessary but also potentially harmful.

I am very glad to hear that there are many younger women out there keeping up the good fight.  I have to admit to frustration when I hear of so many who are so passive about their birth experiences.  They just don't know what they are missing...I love the word "empowerment".  There is no greater empowerment in knowing that you accomplished this most difficult task in life by taking the leading role in your own experience.  The confidence that this leaves one with is beyond describing.

I did have one homebirth...fairly unintentional...but a great experience.  Not one that I would reccomend for everyone but let me tell you, I have found few things as rewarding as knowing that could get through this, too.

that these things are still happening.  When my daughter was born, we were all in the same room the entire time, and no one, even relatives or hospital staff, was allowed to take her out of the room unless they were accompanied by her dad or me.  This was very strict hospital policy.  I feel very fortunate that our local hospital is more like a birthing center.

A friend of mine had her in Memphis.  She tends to favor telling an entertaining story over the "truth," so I was never sure if her story was true.  But she told me that the hospital was called the Elvis Presley Women's Center, and when women go in to give birth, they just give them a gown and a barf bag and line them up in the waiting room for their c-sections.  

I am leaning towards some birthing choices that do not line up with the current "empowerment" movement, and let me tell you, I'm not receiving much support on that end either, from medical staff to friends & family, to almost-strangers.  It's been shocking to me to realize that no matter what you choose to do - or even explore doing - everyone feels the need to line up & tell you what you do or do not want.  Usually not even with the polite preface of, "Well, if it were me..."  It's frequently, "Trust me, you DON'T want that!"  I'm learning to keep my mouth shut.

When my son was born by c-section (unexpected) I was in recovery for 4 hours on another floor waiting for an orderly to become available to take me up to my room and hold my son for the first time. It was my husband's intervention -several times - during that four hours that kept them from giving Tommy formula. He knew how important it was.

I had a birth plan, I knew so many details of what I wanted, and in the end almost nothing went the way I would have hoped. There were medical reasons for it, but this time around my eyes are more open to asking for options I wouldn't have thought to ask for last time. I'll be empowered, but in a different way.

Don't even get me started on this, grrl!!!

I carried my twins to just about 37 weeks and they were in a transverse breech position the entire time.  I had a doc with enough twin experience who was willing to try to deliver vaginally, but they just never got to the right position.  So I had resigned myself to a c-section, but I was absolutely determined that I was going to breastfeed those babies.  I engaged a postpartum doula who was the head of outpatient lactation services at my hospital, which will remain unnamed but is one of the top 10 children's hospitals in the country and is supposedly dedicated to breastfeeding.

The babies weighed 4.13 and 5.11 at birth.  Otherwise they were completely fine and required no stay in the NICU.  About a 10% weight loss is to be expected in the first couple of days, but still can cause concern in infants that small.

They were born at 6:44 and 6:48 p.m. on a Sunday.  About 24 hours later--and just after the 9-5 lactation consultant had vacated the premises for the day, one of the pediatric residents began insisting that we were going to have to give the babies bottles.  I was absolutely adamant that I would not, and my poor DH had to shuttle between me, bedridden, and the doctor in the nursery.  At one point they nearly came to blows, and the pediatric resident ACTUALLY THREATENED TO REMOVE OUR INFANTS FROM OUR CARE AND PUT THEM IN THE NICU WITHOUT OUR CONSENT IF WE WOULD NOT GIVE THEM BOTTLES.  He claimed that the supplemental nursing systems ("SNS"--used to help avoid nipple confusion in these circumstances) were "locked up and a cabinet and they couldn't get to them."

I am a partner in a large law firm and I am used to advocating for my rights.  I cannot imagine what would happen to others under these circumstances.  But I refused to give up.  I called my doula, and she explained to us how to rig an SNS out of "french 5 tubing" and a syringe.  We did it so that the babies were nursing at the breast with a small tube, so my breasts continued to be stimulated and they also received nourishment that they had to work to draw down out of the syringe with their suction.  We had never needed to give them a bottle with a nipple.  After two and one-half weeks I had sufficient milk to feed my twins exclusively at the breast, and did so for months thereafter.  We didn't give them bottles until we were convinced they could latch properly and it would not cause problems.

The idea that the pediatric nurses and residents did not have this knowledge despite their supposed support for breastfeeding remains staggering to me to this day.  Every twin mom I know I tell this story and I make sure they go into the hospital armed with the knowledge they need.  It still causes me to get red in the face with anger when I think about it.

And sometimes, I can't believe they're happening in 2006!  I was lucky that my hospital was so focused on mother and child and bent over backwards to accomodate both.  I always tell my friends to remember that they are boss and can do whatever (within reason) they want with their kid.  Screw hospital protocol.  If no one will speak up on their behalf, I tell them to give me a call.  Luckily, most of them have OBs and/or pediatricians who have stepped into this century and realize that women can make their own intelligent decisions regarding the new baby.

Our local hospital was wonderful, they offer in-room birthing, very few patients at any given time and the nursing staff were very knowledgeable and accomodating.  So much so I wrote a very heart-felt thank you to the staff after my first child was born.  

I wanted to wait to have the umbilical cord cut to lessen the stress my baby felt during birth, I had read many articles and decided I wanted to do it.  Both times giving birth, the nurses and doctors happily accomodated me, agreeing with me that yes, in fact it does reduce the trauma of birth the baby feels.

It was beautiful lying there with my baby on my belly, still relying on my body to give him (and her) what he needed, there was no crying, no stress, just a few minutes of peace and quiet.  I'm glad we had the option, I'm glad my doctor wasn't in a rush to get out of the hospital, he was wonderful.

My kids weren't vaccinated at the hospital, the staff was alright with that too.  I had alot of help with my first child from a nurse who taught us how to nurse, she stayed with us for 6 hours during the middle of the night, two days later she walked us out of the hospital to the car and checked our infant seats, we took a picture of she and I holding my son, Zion.  It sits on our book case full of other pictures, but I'll never forget her, she was there too when my daughter Hannah was born.

I have very fond memories of birthing my children.  I wish more mothers did.  I wish I could buy a subscription to Mothering Magazine for all new mothers, it's such a loving approach to motherhood, and I am so happy I found this site.