Mother Talkers

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  • another fan (0 / 0)

    One thing I notice about these shows is that often the obvious issue is a couple with too many kids close together and the parents are overwhelmed. People really have a different reality from my childhood in the 50s, where I could go to grandparents'homes or aunts and uncles at the drop of a hat. I have pertty much no backup with my one boy(on emergency forms I can't name two people who would actually be able to get our boy from school - just one neighbor, and she is pretty busy herself.) I have had some similar problems to the families on the show, but with one it is much more manageable without getting into the chaos I see on the show. I would bid in any auction to have lunch with Jo, though!

    by chun yang on Fri May 09, 2008 at 09:28:34 AM PDT

    • tend (0 / 0)

      I don't know, I tend to think that no matter how many kids some of the parents had, they would run into the same issues.

      Although it might not add up to the level of chaos as it does with the larger families on the show.

      by NJmom on Fri May 09, 2008 at 10:32:52 AM PDT

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      • its not just numbers, but the chaos (0 / 0)

        I agree the issues would be the same - I deal with the same issues with one. It just seems like the parents with a lot of kids of close-together ages seem like they surrender to the will of the majority a lot. I have reasons for prefering small families, but have a brother who raised six kids who have turned out okay, even with the first four very close in age. They had a big support network and plenty of money, though, and these families on the show do not seem to have the same resources.

        by chun yang on Fri May 09, 2008 at 11:23:37 AM PDT

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        • Don't know that that's entirely correct. (0 / 0)

          I had seven children in 11 years.  Sure, it looked like chaos for a long time...but it didn't mean that we let them "have control".  In fact, I maintained an almost bully-like sense of control for a long time because I knew that I was outnumbered!

          Now, having a lot of kids, you learn to not sweat the small stuff.  Maybe those of us who have a lot of kids are less likely to do this anyway.  If I'd only had one child I seriously doubt if I would have been the obsessive, neurotic type.

          And yes, thank you...my kids have turned out quite well, despite there being so many of them.

          by tjb22 on Fri May 09, 2008 at 11:43:37 AM PDT

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          • I would think you also get the advantage (0 / 0)

            Of playing them off against each other and having the older ones act as role models/guides/enforcers for the younger ones in exchange for all the extra chaos. :-)

            by shenanigans on Fri May 09, 2008 at 11:52:27 AM PDT

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            • They do occupy each other. (0 / 0)

              They still do, even as adults.  And yeah, you use a little bit of psychology along the way.  Older kids can be very helpful if you keep reminding them of the "specialness" of being older.  It really is rather amusing....oftentimes, doing the dishes isn't so bad if you feel like you have someone to boss around a bit while doing them!

              by tjb22 on Fri May 09, 2008 at 01:02:12 PM PDT

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    • Careful (0 / 0)

      One thing I notice about these shows is that often the obvious issue is a couple with too many kids close together and the parents are overwhelmed.

      Some may view that "too many" as just right.  We have three children approximately two years apart.  So far, it's working very well with us.  I have relatives with similar mixes.  In my case, I was kind of in a use it or lose it place regarding fertility due to endometriosis.  We had to ttc as soon as possible in between children or risk my losing my one good tube.  When deciding whether to go for #3 it came down to the thought that I would regret the child I didn't have more than the one I may have.  While I'm pretty certain we're done, I don't think we'd deserve judgment about our number of children or spacing from anyone.

      by music teacher on Fri May 09, 2008 at 01:43:07 PM PDT

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