My crazy co-worker has to go. He is a retired friend of the CEO that is setting up a department here before he goes happily (for all of us) back to retirement. He is the Vanity Job guy, as in "This must be a Vanity Job for you, Melissa. Call me old fashioned but my wife stayed home with our kids." He is Mr "this war is great and so was vietnam, where I jumped from planes and now I own a ton of guns and hide them in the couch and let's talk about religion" lunch conversation guy, and as of today, fat-ass implying guy.

Me, talking to a co-worker:  Yes, yesterday went well, thanks for asking, but I was tired because I'm not used to being on my feet all day, I'm used to sitting all day."

Jerk Face Retired guy: It shows.

Me (to another co-worker): Co-Worker, did JFG just say I have a big butt?

JFG: Well in some cultures they like that kind of thing.

DONE AND DONE WITH THIS GUY.