into the birth order stereotypes. I am 2nd of two, and only 11.5 mos. younger than my brother. I never felt like I was 'the baby.'

My DH has a hard time even articulating where he is in birth order. His oldest brother died just after birth. Second brother was without oxygen for some time the first few days of his life and as a result, was severely mentally handicapped and eventually lived in an institution. So is DH 3rd of 3, 2nd of two or an only child?

I think parents who have several kids probably do rely on the older ones to do more, and probably do relax rules on the younger ones. I would suspect that if I had another kid now, I might relax some rules not out of tiredness, or a desire to spoil, but because "I have figured out a better way to parent."