Mother Talkers

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  • urgh (0 / 0)

    that was one of my rants about living in London - English men were so awful about not giving me a seat. I once kept track for a whole week to give me some anecdotal, statistical evidence. Six times out of ten, if I got a seat, it was because a woman got up. The other 40 percent, the men? Not one single Englishman. In a deliberate attempt to try and figure out who was helping me out, I'd say "Gee, thanks," and such. Not one single English accent out of the men who replied back - Irish, Scottish, French, Indian/Pakistani, occasionally Australian, but no English-accentied replies.

    Worst offenders? Banker/financial-type men in pinstripe suits who hid themselves behind the Financial Times newspapers rather than meet my eye contact when I was looking for a seat.

    /rant

    by Rachel on Tue May 06, 2008 at 03:56:01 PM PDT

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    • Oh yes... (0 / 0)

      I had nothing but lovely people here in Australia. Men (and women) would constantly offer to help me with my groceries, carry them to the car for me, put them in. They'd instantly leap to their feet when I got on the train. It got to the point where I felt like I had to say "I'm okay!", just because everyone assumed that I needed help. But it was nice.

      In London (we traveled there when I was about six months pregnant...and definitely pregnant), people were really good at avoiding eye contact, just in case you might need help. I actually had an 80 year old woman on the Underground leap out of her seat to give it to me when no one else would. When I thanked her but refused, she started yelling at all the men surrounding us, telling them that they should be ashamed of themselves and if their grandmothers could see them, they'd be in huge trouble! :)

      by aussieyank on Tue May 06, 2008 at 05:30:46 PM PDT

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      • Yes!! Had identical experience once! (0 / 0)

        One morning when the train was absolutely packed and I was, like, six months on, I was standing next to this woman. The Banker types were studiously avoiding eye contact, so the woman standing next to me suddenly bellowed, "Isn't anyone going to offer you a seat, Luv?" I said, "Oh, I'm sure someone will once they notice me." Nothing. She then repeatedly, more loudly, "This is B*llocks. Isn't anyone going to offer you a seat, LUV?" Someone finally got up. It was so funny!

        Aussies are really lovely - when I use the stroller on the tram with Jess, there's usually three or four people who will leap up to help me get it on/off. It's nice.

        by Rachel on Tue May 06, 2008 at 05:54:17 PM PDT

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    • Same here in Amsterdam (0 / 0)

      When I was 35+ weeks pregnant with DD1 I asked two youngish people on a tram if I could have their seat saying I was pregnant (admittedly, I wasn't huge, but I surely did show clearly by then and I was exhausted) - they both refused giving some BS excuse. In the end DH very loudly asked in general if someone would giove up his/her seat for his very pregnant wife and finally one man reluctantly stood up. I was appalled (and disappointed). I gave birth to DD 3 days later.

      Nope, people here are NOT polite.

      by SwissClogs on Thu May 08, 2008 at 06:00:51 AM PDT

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      • gross. (0 / 0)

        that's really appalling!

        How's little Fiemke (I know I'm misspelling) and your older daughter? How are you feeling?

        by Rachel on Thu May 08, 2008 at 04:04:51 PM PDT

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        • Yep, we do beat the Brits hands down :-( (0 / 0)

          Thanks for asking!

          Femke (you were close) is doing very well. She nurses well and tends to sleep well too. She is a bit restless from time to time (mowing with her arms and keeping herself awake), but I have found that it helps to wrap her tightly in cloth (don't know the english term for it). She is already on six feedings and grows very fast, so we're doing well.

          Sanne (DD1) has taken it all really well and seems back to her old self. She was a bit shaken the first week r so, but she was very sweet to Femke right from the start. She's been great!

          I'm doing very well myself. Recovery is much quicker this time around and I was out on my bike after little more than a week. By then I was also back to wearing my normal clothes again (gotta love nursing!), which certainly helps me feel normal again. I do still try to nap every afternoon, because the nights are still interrupted at least once. Also, we're having a lovely summery spell (25 C for over a week now and it is forecast to last until Monday at least), which I really enjoy.

          Today I had my first half day alone with both girls, which was tiring, but we managed. And I did get to nap, so not all is bad. Must say I'm happy that DH for now is home at least part of the day on days thatDD1 does not go to daycare. It's quite tricky to concentrate on nursing when a toddler needs to be entertained. I'm sure we'll all get the hang of it though.

          Oops, sorry for the long reply. Gotto go nurse again :-)
          And how are you? Not too bummed by autumn, I hope?

          by SwissClogs on Fri May 09, 2008 at 06:58:24 AM PDT

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          • sounds good! (0 / 0)

            Wonderful that both girls are doing so well and adjusting to each other. Swaddling (the tight wrapping) really does help with the newborns, doesn't it? It used to totally comfort Jess.

            I'm glad to hear that you've recovered well and are back on the bike and in pre-pregnancy clothes. I remember fitting back into my jeans when Jess was about 4 weeks old, and it felt fantastic.

            All good here; autumn is a good deal in Melbourne - we get days around 20 degrees and nights around 10 degrees. Sun is up by 7.30 and sets around 5.30, so altogether quite civilised! We're actually spending more time outside than we would at the height of summer; when it's 40 degrees and the sun is intense, there's no reason to go to the park. But now, we spend a couple of hours outdoors and really enjoy it.

            by Rachel on Sat May 10, 2008 at 04:35:21 PM PDT

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      • gotta love the Dutch (0 / 0)

        It's almost refreshing to have people be rude to your face rather than behind your back.  Almost.  

        --R

        by Rocky on Fri May 09, 2008 at 06:13:30 AM PDT

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        • You know (0 / 0)

          I know we're a pretty blunt bunch, and that Amsterdam is worse than elsewhere in the country, but I was pretty gobsmacked at that one. In a way it was good that DD was born so soon after that, because I don't think I would have been riding any trams anymore. I did still cycle though.

          Oh well.

          by SwissClogs on Fri May 09, 2008 at 06:47:22 AM PDT

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