I have a great aunt who has bone cancer, she has no will, no directives, no medical POA, no nothing. Her brother (my elderyl grandfather) is trying so hard to help her, but even making what should be simple decisions is complicated by the fact that she is both ill AND depressed. She needs to be in a full-care facilty and she is very much day by day on whether she will go or not.

my parents have written health instructions stating no rescusitation orders.  additionally they have nominated a person in the family to handle the decision to be sure it is carried out in the way they intended.

my parents are well informed and made these decisions on their own.  the question becomes WHO informs elderly folks who are not well informed?  ideally this should be a discussion/decision before you get sick. we  have had these kinds of discussion with my parents along with raising issues around writing of their wills.  for example, i encouraged both my parents to nominate an outside person to be executors of their will rather than me or one of my siblings. w/r/t to health, my mother has given me detailed instructions regarding end of life so there will be no doubt of what she wanted.

it is truly a shame that docs make this decision.  awareness of this issue will help.