and the perspective from the world of special education.  i agree that a school-based diagnosis would not be helpful right now.  

and the answers to...

Is the child unhappy?  Is the child's behaviors or feelings interfering with his ability to do things he wants to do?

are yes and no.  i don't really think she struggles much with her place in the world.  

it's been very helpful to me to read the general consensus that taking a "keep on keeping on" approach might be the best tack.  now off to work on the part about feeling good about the interactions!