Mother Talkers

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  • Don't want to blow your cover (0 / 0)

    but I am fairly certain I know which child you are describing so I know the age range we are dealing with,which helps. I can see where this is a tricky situation because it's kind of a crap shoot as to whether this is just a difference in communication and relating styles or a situation where as you say,a diagnosis is missing. I know you mention that your husband notices the difference but what,if anything, do dc's teachers,coaches,friend's parents say about dc? I guess I'm wondering if this is something other adults in dc's life are concerned about or if it is more a situation where you see it more than anyone else because you are looking at it as a failure to connect. I don't have any real answers and just think you should follow your instincts. DC,whom you say seems,all in all,to be a happy child,seems perfectly content with the level of connection you guys share,once you've explored all the possibilities and reassure yourself that you are meeting her needs,you may just have to reassess how you define a successful,healthy relationship even though that is an amazingly hard thing to do.

    by kwetsel on Fri May 02, 2008 at 09:30:17 PM PDT

    • i knew you'd find me out! (0 / 0)

      yep.. your hunch is right. and i think your words that:

      once you've explored all the possibilities and reassure yourself that you are meeting her needs,you may just have to reassess how you define a successful,healthy relationship even though that is an amazingly hard thing to do.

      are right on the money.... i do have to do that, no matter what... a balance between not giving up, but not trying to have her do things that are just not gonna happen.   and yes, dc is pretty content with the relationship... i think dc's needs are simpler.

      by slackermom on Sat May 03, 2008 at 07:29:06 PM PDT

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    • sorry, forgot to answer the part (0 / 0)

      about others' perceptions.  really, anyone who really pays attention to relationships has noticed.  people who don't, just think "shy".  but aunts, my best friends, our favorite sitter (who dc ADORES) and my mom have all noticed and commented on similar insights.  it's part of what makes me sad... people who love dc and want relationships with her too, also find it challenging to connect.  teachers generally rave about how smart and well behaved dc is, only commenting on activity and distractibility levels (and not really concerned, but more watching at this point).  and dc really does do well with peers, but the mama bear in me worries this won't be the case in a few years... but tjb22's comments down[post give me new hope for that.  

      by slackermom on Sat May 03, 2008 at 08:02:42 PM PDT

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