If you do go back to work, please make rock-solid arrangements for the school age kids, up to like age 15 or so. They will need a reliable, predictable place to be, with supervision, for a long long time. Don't think you can just rely on different friends to take them after school when you or DH can't be there. Pay someone if you have to, but guarantee child care well into high school. The loneliness of latchkey-dom is something I will never forget. Also, negotiate major participation from DH in the family/child/home care areas. Major participation--like 50-50 if possible.