Mother Talkers

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  • worry vs panic (0 / 0)

    I would try to calm your own fears that your DD is developing a panic disorder, if you can.  The fears at this age can feel very big, and repetitive worrying is not unusual.  This is a time when kids will worry if they're going to hell, that their parents will die (and that they may have caused it by wishing you dead!) .... lots of big, existential alarms going off.  They are beginning to feel more and more powerful, and that is exhilirating and terrifying.  

    With the experiences your girl has had, she has a concrete handle to anchor some of her fears.  But I think she might have some scary thoughts even if the other circumstances didn't exist.

    I suspect this phase will pass, with your steady calming reassuring presence.  Good luck to all of you!

    Mama to one son, born 12/93.

    by mamacita on Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 09:16:32 AM PDT

    • Really? (0 / 0)

      I guess I just identify so strongly with those out of control existential worries. For instance I have YET to see "An Incovenient Truth" because I read an article on it and I was actually nauseously nervous and sleepless for two weeks afterward. I had actual panic attacks all through my late teens/early 20's and I'd hate to see her go through anything like that at age 5!!!

      by Suzanne77 on Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 10:11:30 AM PDT

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      • I'm just saying that (0 / 0)

        it can feel perseverative and worrisome when 5 year olds get scared but I do think it's a different animal from adult panic attacks.  Of course those are very real, too, but there's something about age 5 or so when it seems to hit us humans that, Holy shit! There's a big old world out there, and it's not all sunshine and ponies.

        Try not to worry :)  I bet she'll regain her sanguine outlook in a few months.  And I haven't seen "An Inconvenient Truth" yet either.  I read enough about climate change to scare the living sh&t out of me, I don't need the graphics or the soundtrack.  I don't have any particular problems with panic or anxiety but some things are just freakin' scary!  The food riots? Freak. me. out.  And I worry pretty constantly that DS won't have enough water to drink at some point in his lifetime.  Ahem.... I don't have an anxiety disorder, I don't!

        Mama to one son, born 12/93.

        by mamacita on Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 10:22:26 AM PDT

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        • WATER! (0 / 0)

          Yesterday, pre-meltdown by several hours, she asked me what Daddy and I would do if there wasn't enough water?! I said, we'd get her some. We'd always find water. She said, "What if you couldn't?"

          Yeah, I almost flipped right there in the car. Why does she always spring this on me when I'm driving?

          by Suzanne77 on Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 10:54:20 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Use it as an opportunity for a science lesson (0 / 0)

            Water isn't just something that comes out of a tap.

            Tell her about ways to make water out of other substances, like distillation; about rainwater catchment systems, about purifying surface water. Teach her about drilling for wells.

            There are island nations, for example, where for centuries people have depended on capturing rainwater into storage tanks.

            With knowledge comes power.

            by shenanigans on Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 11:43:00 AM PDT

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      • Panic or not (0 / 0)

        She's sharing these things with you, so hopefully she'll be able to continue doing that.  You are reassuring her, even if you can't lay all her fears completely to rest.

        My panic and anxiety problems are more tied to guilt, and to some extent they did start young, but what really made them into problems was the fact that I couldn't find a way to articulate them to anyone.

        by lonespark on Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 11:19:53 AM PDT

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        • I hope (0 / 0)

          she always feels she can talk to me. Its a good point.

          I admire the way you are so open about your current fear/anxiety issues. When I was younger and clinically depressed and anxiety ridden I was very ashamed. I felt like I was weak and weird. Truth is, it takes a brave person to continue functioning under that kind of strain.

          by Suzanne77 on Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 11:32:35 AM PDT

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