Mother Talkers

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  • It Feels Like A Loss Because It Is (0 / 0)

    Tenure is a very admirable accomplishment. Congrats to you for reaching that stage.

    .....

    My comments are these:
    We live in a Capitalist society and - in a capitalist society, individual self worth is tied to a career and the ability to earn money.

    Two points->

    1. Be Advised:

    Women really need to be cautious and carefully consider what they're doing when they choose economic dependency on another person or when they opt to create a situation where the economic well-being of their family is dependent upon a single source of income. Dire circumstances such as discontinuation of viable job options for the sole wage earner(temporary or long term), disability, or divorce can and do take place.

    1. Work-Life Balance:

    is quite possible with a partner or spouse who embraces his or her fair share of familial obligations. Why this escapes so many people of both genders is beyond my comprehension.

    by Uhura on Wed Apr 16, 2008 at 11:29:04 AM PDT

    • very supportive (0 / 0)

      What a supportive comment.

      Glad that you have fully embraced the capitalist version of what a person is worth.  Kudos to you.  

      To your point 1, being fully dependent on two incomes also carries economic liability.  See Elizabeth Warren's The Two-Income Trap for more on that.

      On your point 2, families create all different kinds of arrangements that work best for them.  A woman who stays home is not necessarily oppressed by a patriarchal husband and nor is a woman who works outside the home for a paycheck always "free," as many working mothers will gladly tell you.

      by NJmom on Wed Apr 16, 2008 at 11:40:05 AM PDT

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      • Pls Slow Down and Consider the Message (0 / 0)

        I am neither embracing nor disavowing the Capitalist rubric for personal worth. I am simply stating it.

        There are two worlds: The World as it Should Be and The World as It Is.

        Regarding your comment about economic liability: Yes - dependence on two incomes has risk; however, dependence upon one is even more risky. It's simple mathematics.

        Regarding the second portion of your comment: My statement about a partner or spouse who embraces his or her fair share of familial obligations has nada to do with partriarchy or female "freedom". It's about shared responsibilities. (If you'd like to talk patriarchy and feminism perhaps we should start another diary.)

        Furthermore - since women continually talk about not being able to find "Work-Life Balance" and often reveal what they have to "give up" ...clearly-the "all different kinds of arrangements" that you speak of ain't working out.

        by Uhura on Wed Apr 16, 2008 at 11:48:48 AM PDT

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        • balance (0 / 0)

            2.  Work-Life Balance:

          is quite possible with a partner or spouse who embraces his or her fair share of familial obligations. Why this escapes so many people of both genders is beyond my comprehension.

          I was responding to this part of your comment.
           
          You are correct, The World As It Should Be, isn't here yet.  Hence, all the different kinds of arrangements that families come up with that work for them in The World As It Is.  You seem to be claiming that work-life balance is possible as long as you have a spouse that "embraces his or her fair share of familial obligations."  That's it's not the world, but a crummy partner making women "give up."

          BTW, all of this assumes that I think every woman wants to work or make tenure or be CEO, and I don't think that is true.

          by NJmom on Wed Apr 16, 2008 at 12:12:45 PM PDT

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          • Circular Reasoning and Other Forms of Non Logic.. (0 / 0)

            Your inferences about what I am saying are simply that-inferences.

            Focus on my actual claims rather than what I seem to be claiming.

            possible does not =  as long as

            and

            Work-Life Balance:

            is quite possible with a partner or spouse who embraces his or her fair share of familial obligations.

            does not =

            it's not the world, but a crummy partner making women "give up."

            It appears that you may be reading a personal message in my comments which are not really there.

            The nature of our economy puts people who rely on wages in a very precarious position because employers generally do not respect workers as persons.

            The entire system is dysfunctional. We all know it.

            The current state of things dictates that women - who are often the most financially vulnerable (adult) members of society - carefully consider decsisions which could impact financial well-being.

            by Uhura on Wed Apr 16, 2008 at 12:24:26 PM PDT

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            • shouldn't we all (0 / 0)

              "carefully consider {decisions} which could impact financial well-being?"

              I am pretty sure that whatever the current state of things each of us - male or female - should carefully consider all our decisions.

              Anne W

              by Anne W on Mon Apr 21, 2008 at 11:03:30 AM PDT

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    • The solution is insurance (0 / 0)

      Regarding death or disability of the working spouse, this is what life and disability insurance are for. Anyone who can afford to have a spouse stay home full time can afford quite enough life and disability insurance.

      Divorce? Get a good attorney and do the best you can.

      Loss of job? Same - make a some big decisions and do the best you can.

      What I personally won't do is make big life decisions - like whether to work during my son's infancy and preschool years - based on the fear of a giant life shattering emergency happening tomorrow. That sucks as a way to live, imho.

      by RachelD on Wed Apr 16, 2008 at 11:55:51 AM PDT

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