Mother Talkers

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  • asdf (0 / 0)

    We just moved up back near my mom, so it was kind of a natural break.

    I started to find the lack of any mention of god personally empty. This particular congregation was becoming a quasi-nature-based-Buddhist-yoga-atheist congregation.  No offense to anyone who is a serious nature-based religious person, Buddhist, yogi or atheist.  It was the that melding started to feel neither here nor there.  I became uneasy with the incessant borrowing from other religions, if only because it made me question what the faith tradition of UUism exactly was if we had to keep borrowing from others (which is a whole debate in itself).

    I don't really plan to pick and choose the parts in our next church, I am just going to go with the flow (kind of like my parents did) and my kids can do the same.

    What other churches would you be interested in?

    P.S. I hope if there are any UUs reading this out there, please don't take offense.  Just my experience at one point in my life in one congregation...

    by NJmom on Sun Dec 30, 2007 at 04:58:24 PM PDT

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    • Yes... (0 / 0)

      I know exactly what you mean.  My UU church is a wonderful place full of great people.  I love the RE classes, but I've felt for some time that something's missing.  And, I don't live close to the church so I find myself really only going when I have to.  

      My father was a lapsed Catholic, a child of divorce.  My mother was Church of Scotland, which is Presbyterian.  We never really went to church when I was a kid, though all my friends were Catholic (growing up in Chicago area).  I went to church with them sometimes.  I continued to do so while in college, even though I couldn't take communion.  When DH and I got married, we did it in an Episcopal Church.  He grew up going to Church of Christ and a Lutheran Church.  We thought Episcopal would be a nice compromise.  The church is nice and has gone through a lot of upgrades.  Lots of fancy people in fancy clothes there... I feel like I don't quite fit in there.  

      There's a beautiful Catholic Church here in town... literally walking distance away.  Since I'm not Catholic, it would mean going through the RCIA to get in.  I don't know if I'm up for that or if DH is.  But, it's the ritual of the Catholic and Episcopal churches that I find appealing.  I feel like I've been deciding what to do now for years.

      Clarkie Mom to Grant, 8 and Madeline, 5 1/2

      by 1plain1peanut on Mon Dec 31, 2007 at 07:08:24 AM PDT

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      • It took me till my late 30s to settle (0 / 0)

        into a real committment to a particular congregation.  After growing up Lutheran, I attended Catholic services in college, but never participated in ANY activities.  When living in Boston, I attended the services at Harvard Memorial Church: amazing sermons, amazing music, amazing space.  But, again, I resisted joining anything. After moving to the South, I tried out Lutherans, Presbyterians, Baptists (yikes!), and finally found a small, down-to-earth Episcopal congregation that I love.  It is a joy to go to services there.  After attending services there regularly for two years, I FINALLY joined and started to get active. So, it was a slow, slow process, but I'm glad I didn't rush it.  

        by mkkendrick on Mon Dec 31, 2007 at 07:34:34 AM PDT

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      • Yep (0 / 0)

        Yep, something was missing.  That's how I used to feel every single Sunday (that I went anyway).  The people, the ministers, the service, the RE were all great.

        Maybe try out the Catholic Church for a while without doing the RCIA to make sure, because that is a huge commitment.  You might like the RCIA classes anyway, even if you didn't decide to go through with it.  And I don't think your husband would necessarily have to do them right at the same time if he wasn't into it right now (or ever).

        Follow your heart!

        by NJmom on Mon Dec 31, 2007 at 12:56:00 PM PDT

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        • I definitely (0 / 0)

          would not go through the RCIA stuff without making darn sure I was doing the right thing.  I really want DH to be a part of this too.  One of my complaints about my current situation is that I am sick of doing all of it myself.  DH isn't that into it, so he never goes.  This is something I want to do as a family.  

          We'll see... I'm still committed to co-teach the UU preschool class until May, so I probably won't do anything before then.  I guess I could visit the other church on an off Sunday.  

          No matter what I do, I'm definitely taking a break from volunteering to teach at the UU church this fall.  This is my second year and I just need a break.  

          Clarkie Mom to Grant, 8 and Madeline, 5 1/2

          by 1plain1peanut on Tue Jan 01, 2008 at 04:00:16 PM PDT

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          • I know (0 / 0)

            I know, I was doing everything by myself at the UU church too.  My DH really didn't like it all that much, although he did try.  I don't know how much he's going to dig going back to the the Catholic Church either, but at least it's something he is familiar with and right down the street so I'm hoping he will participate a bit more.  

            I think I know the reason why religion goes through the mother in many cultures!  ; )  

            by NJmom on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 07:09:14 AM PDT

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    • different fits for different needs (0 / 0)

      Well, I'll speak up as a very happy, fulfilled Unitarian, just as a counterpoint (and of course I'm not offended that you didn't find it fulfilling! UU churches fit some and don't fit others and that's how they are.)

      I come to UUism from the exact opposite end of the spectrum - I was raised by bitter atheists, and the whole time I was growing up I was looking for deeper meaning and spirituality with no guidance from my family. I looked at some more typical churches in young adulthood but they were all much too ritualistic. The UU church was a great fit for me - questioning, seeking, with some ritual but nothing that scared the skeptic side of my brain.

      For what it's worth, my DH who is a recovering Catholic also loves it, and finds that it fills the void left when he parted with Catholicism while fitting better with his scientific, rational side. My bitter atheist mom, on the other hand, went to church with us a couple times and got totally freaked out because it was way too "churchy" for her. LOL!

      At my church, the winter holidays are ... well ... unified and universal. There's a connection between solstice and Christmas and the fact that so many faith traditions have stories that erupt out of the darkness of the winter months, when faith can try us all. I see it as one of the ties that binds the whole human family together, and that's where I find my strength and my spirituality. And so it's a great fit for me.

      by diane on Mon Dec 31, 2007 at 07:32:21 AM PDT

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      • Thanks for sharing (0 / 0)

        I actually hesitated before I wrote about my experience, because I didn't want anyone to think anything bad about UUism, because it is a great church organization and no doubt, one of the greatest things about it is the people.

        That's awesome that it was the right fit for you and your husband.  And interesting that your atheist mom found it too churchy!

        I think as you said, it's really all about the fit between person and specific congregation too.

        by NJmom on Mon Dec 31, 2007 at 12:41:28 PM PDT

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    • Funny, I found one UU too churchy (0 / 0)

      I think they really run the gamut.  This one felt very Protestant to me, while others were more as you mentioned.  Regardless, I'm glad you're finding what works for you!

      by Anu on Mon Dec 31, 2007 at 08:50:13 AM PDT

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      • asdf (0 / 0)

        That is interesting.  

        I used to go to another one and one of the ministers was way smart and I felt like I was sitting in a lecture hall and I couldn't understand anything he was saying.  Too scholarly!  

        by NJmom on Mon Dec 31, 2007 at 12:44:45 PM PDT

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