and I'd worry less about "picking up the academic slack" for a three or four year old. she'll learn to read, it will come and she'll probably learn in school or at home but ...she's what? four?  I would cut you all a little slack. Send her to the community school and relax knowing that she will most likely be in a classroom full of other four year olds who are also social, enthusiastic, difficult, stubborn, and alot of fun.  

she'll be fine.  But then remember I"m the mom who errs so far on not believing her kid is anything special that I swing to the far other end of the spectrum. It's the Yankee in me that says "so what? the world is full of special people...what makes you so different? LOL"