Thursday Open Thread

Happy Thursday!

Here are 46 reasons your 3-year-old might be freaking out.

The last time my 3-year-old freaked out, it was because I handed him a cup of apple juice and he “wanted chocolate miiiiiilk!!!” Oh and also because I tried to help him take his shirt off (“I DO IT MYSEEEELF!”) and because DH tried to put him to bed (“I WANT MAAAAAAMI!”).

Good times.

What’s causing freakouts in your neck of the woods? And here’s an article that tries to explain just why it’s so hard to be three.

What else is on your mind today? Do tell!


63 thoughts on “Thursday Open Thread

  1. And sometimes they freak out b/c three year olds are GIANT PAINS IN THE ASS… (oh i’m sorry was I shouting? )

    an in other news… Nothing like a call telling you you’ve been referred to the high risk breast cancer clinic to make your day all warm and shiny and fun! I wonder what we do there? Is it topless? one can only dream… (goes off singing ‘we saw your boobs! we saw your boobs!)

      • well I already get the bonus slides … so I’m guessing maybe I get the super duper 3D ones? I dunno… I’m just hopoing there’s no validating or sharing.. 😉

        I’m not really worried, my mom was in her 70s when she got her breast cancer, although I think HER mom was in her 50s so you know …that’s not so far off anymore LOL

  2. Of for pete’s sake…stupid WP. I was witty as all hell in my comment and now it’s gone gone gone.

    So…yeah. I imagine that you’ll have to do the Wipe Out course in order to get into the office.

  3. I am wondering if we should reconsider what our options are as far as this site platform is concerned. So many people are having problems with their comments being eaten or not being able to post, a lot have given up even trying. (I haven’t had these issues for some reason, but I know a lot of other people do.)

    What does everyone else think? …. if you can post here and tell us! …

    It seems like the choices are
    1) continue as is
    2) try to find some other platform? I have no idea what that would entail, or what the options are.
    3) give up and just use the FB group. Some people aren’t on FB though.
    4) anything else I haven’t thought of?

    Baker baker, does your DH have any thoughts about this or whether there are any other possibilities?

    • I have problems on the iPad, much less on a normal computer. I notice that things mostly go wrong when something takes a while to load and I try to do somethings else in the meantime.
      I would be interested in discussing solutions or alternatives. It would be great to have BB’s DH’s input on this.

    • Just want to chime in on the FB front — anyone who doesn’t have an active FB account can create one that is relatively anonymous, and wouldn’t be any different than having an account here. My FB account is just for the MT group. I don’t post photos of myself or the kids, and I don’t even have my name as my profile name.

      There are pros and cons to all of our free options, but I just wanted to mention that in case anyone felt that not having a FB account was a con.

        • It’s been great. I have my main FB account for family & friends, but this way there’s no chance family can see what I’ve posted or liked in the MT group, and no way for anyone in the MT group that I don’t know to see my personal information. And then I don’t have to worry about those pesky privacy changes they keep making.

      • Oy. This is coming at a bad time…we are moving this weekend and next week will be unpacking/cleaning the rental. I will discuss with dh but I have limited wifi so I won’t be around much. I am guessing its a WP thing though and I don’t know what the options will be. I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow and try to post as soon as I can.

        • I think you can take your time, sweetie! We know you and DH have a lot on your plate. I think it’s good that we’re revisiting the WP platform, but I don’t think PoB would have meant to stress you and DH out about it. I don’t see it as a huge rush to make a change.

          • Yes, I didn’t mean there needs to be an overnight change or anything. I just have noticed a lot of comments like Snarky’s and I know some people have said they don’t post here because of technical issues. That seems to me to be a problem to lose people for that reason. Not my site of course and hopefully Elisa and Erika and Gloria will weigh in. Just something that has been on my mind. I hate to lose posters just because WP is maybe not well suited for the way we interact here.

      • With fb, I don’t like that it feels more ephemeral, and there’s nothing like a diary option (no peeking, so and so!). I guess there are notes, but those aren’t as easily used. And you can’t reply to a reply, you know?

        More importantly, while I kind of like the privacy of the fb group, I don’t think it’s good for a group like MT in the long run. We need an open spot that people can stumble across and lurk and then start posting if they feel comfortable, imo. With fb, you have to know someone to be let in. I worry that we will not be able to grow and change very easily.

        • But you can send email type messages to as many group members as you want, and that would allow for those no-peeking events to truly be surprises!

        • I know what you mean about it being open here vs FB, but how many new people ever comment here? It’s so rare. We basically just have open threads each day. After that whole scary thing with Mercedes, I am less concerned about openness to be honest.

          I don’t know if FB is a solution, but it has far more members participating than we do over here at the mothership!

          • I think it depends on what the group wants to be. Are we saying that we’re fine as we are, and this is as big as the group needs to be, ergo a private FB page is the answer? Is there value in having the mothership as the launchpad (wow, mixed metaphors!)? What role do the founders see for MT? How do they use MT themselves?

            • My $.02 – if the group becomes closed, it will eventually die off or become so small that it no longer really counts as a group. People will move on or get busy over time.

              Speaking of, has anyone heard from tgfaa?

        • Yeah, to me, FB only does not seem to be the way to go because of the diaries, the possibility to reply to a comment and the openness of the MT site. I think I would like to keep a potential for growth. I’m not sure at all what IS the best option, right now, but I have found the WP glitches a bit annoying. No urgent need for big changes, though, but a discussion may be helpful.

          • I deeply miss the old MT site, where we used to have involved, meaty conversations on a whole range of issues on a regular basis. We never seem to go as deep here on WP, and the topic diaries have fallen by the wayside. But I think FB is even worse. I’ve tried to be a part of that group but it just doesn’t work for me. Though it’s great for deciding what blouse to wear. :)

            • It’s hard to have the same back and forth when we only have 10 or so regular commenters here anymore. And when WP decides we can only reply so many times before making each line one word wide. The free WP option isn’t meant for that kind of interaction unfortunately. I feel like asking the moderators (who have somehow kept up this site out of the goodness of their hearts as their own work/life commitments have changed over the past 8 years) to do more isn’t fair, either, so it should be up to us users to research other options.

              I agree that FB isn’t great for long discussions, either. But, that’s where everyone went.

              • I don’t know, maybe it’s hopeless. I assume all the options were researched last time around and this was found to be the best one. I just miss the old system so much! It worked so much better than WP. Now we have people saying they don’t come here any more because they can’t even log in. It makes me sad that we have lost so many people, and part of that is for other reasons but it seems really unfortunate to lose people because the technical aspects don’t work for them.

  4. Junior High.

    We’re nearing the end of 6th grade so it’s time to choose one. We’re guaranteed placement in two of our town’s three Jr Highs. Our “neighborhood” school is not in our neighborhood, and is the least convenient of the three (since my 4th grader’s school is in the opposite direction). The spanish immersion continuation program is in the little Jr High across town, the furthest from our house. The nearest school would require an intradistrict transfer, but I’ve heard nothing but good things and was hoping my kids would get in there.

    The problem I’m wrestling with right now is that the little Jr High across town has been creatively redefining itself, and at least in theory it seems just about ideal for both of my boys. It has a social justice-oriented curriculum that my older son would adore, plus he could study Isabelle Allende and Pablo Neruda and get AP credit for spanish starting in 7th grade. It has an integrated gifted and high achieving program, which means that my older son could work at a more advanced level in math and science while my younger son would no longer be in self contained GATE classrooms (I have reservations about segregated programs). And it also houses the project-oriented technology charter that my younger son is excited about.

    I tend to suspect a small school is preferable for grades 6-9 even if some of the aging infrastructure is decomposing. The parents I’ve talked to are enthusiastic about the community. Perfect, right? I just don’t know if I can bring myself to commit to that much driving for the next 3-5 years, and I don’t know of any carpool options in my immediate neighborhood. It’s not really much further away, but the location is much more of a pain and with two highways to cross it’s less bikable for increasingly independent adolescents with afterschool activities. Ugh. It might be easier to just up and move.

    • And then move again after ninth grade…

      The location of that freeway is just a problem. I guess there is the one bike overpass, but otherwise it is just tough to get over there and back. My DS2’s best friend lives on that side of town and it just takes forever to get over there even though we are relatively centrally located.

    • well….I tend to really like small schools. My kids have done better in smaller school environments. Sounds as if you are already rather decided on this school, anyway.

      I’ve had kids in schools all over the city. And most of this while I’ve been unable to drive. I don’t want to make light of your situation, but, it does work out if you really feel that your kids belong in that school. Of course, I live in a party of my city that is so suburban that walking/biking to school events was never really feasible no matter where they might have attended. By high school age, there was the possibility of public transportation if we got them down to the main bus stop that in reality is nearly half a mile from our house. But….we did it….without moving.

      • I don’t know that I’m decided. I want to go to all 3 schools’ open houses first, and I’m hoping to like the closer school better. But this is the school my son probably wants to go to, and he thinks more of his friends will be there.

        • well, see the other schools, by all means. And, if you feel, for whatever reason that a particular school would be the best, it’s your right as a parent to go with that one. My daughter really thought she wanted to attend a particular high school. We just knew that the school her brother was attending would be just right for her though. And of course, it was a huge convenience factor, too. We insisted that she try it. She did, and loved it within the first two days.

    • Having been in your position and committing to the drive, I would say it is worth it. Bill’s school is so perfect for him and seeing how excited he is about learning really eliminates the pain of the drive. Now, when it’s my winter break and he still has to go to school, I’m not always “hooray” about it, but I would not trade his happiness for the extra sleep I’d get if I could put him on the bus or walk him to school.

  5. Two year old grandson freaks out over anything that appears to be a flying bug. Even a small gnat flying around a light fixture can bring on a near panic. He’ll start crying “BEE! BEE!”… four, Nicky still has freakouts, too. He cries easily because he’s always worn his emotions on his sleeve. He started seeing a therapist a couple of weeks ago to try to help him better handle his emotions. I’m a little like Katie, though…come on, he’s four. Not forty-four, and to be honest, I know more than a few forty four year olds who cry easily, too.

    Anyway, nice to be back. I’ve posted over on FB, but I’ll update here a litte bit, too. I haven’t been doing well in the past few months. Healthwise, I rather slid downhill. We’ve known for years that because of underlying conditions that I was very prone to heart failure. Well, now cardiologist has decided it’s time to investigate more and pinpoint actual damage since my situation seems to be deteriorating. So, done a lot of testing, but he believes its just plain old damage from years of dealing with cardiac issues. I, on the other hand, am hoping we’ll find some weird conduction problem that can be kinda, sorta easily addressed. Well, all that said, I did get a new laptop so that makes it much easier for me to be online since actually sitting up at a desk for any length of time was giving me a lot of trouble. I have, though, done my best to keep up with what’s going on with all of you, even if I haven’t posted a lot here or on FB. Hopefully now I can start being more interactive again! Missed you guys!

    • Glad to see you back! (I meant to post on FB, too.) But I’m sorry about your health problems. Is there anything we can do? I’m not so far away now – thinking we should try for a meetup for folk in our area…..

      • hope so, too. Feel’s weird hoping that more turns up. I know I have some problems there, and I also know that I have some really leaky valves. Not new. Think the doctor was humoring me by doing a 30 day monitor. His explanation was that further conduction problems are coming from still ventricles and leaky valves. Feel a little like I can’t win.

        Trying to remain optimistic, and since it’s your line of work, I will just say that the tech who didn’t the echo was really chatty until she got to my ventricles and leaky valves. Then didn’t say anything more other than exchange glances with the student she had with her. Ugh. Not knocking on you techs….know you’re doing your job! Was kinda fun at first with the student as she was going over different views and angles and let her snap her pictures that she needed. Told her that Nicholas would have been THRILLED because he had an echo done last month and was very sad that they didn’t give him a picture of his heart.

  6. Lucy’s school music program is today. There are two performances–I went to the morning, just to enjoy, and then I have to sell baked goods at the PTO table in the afternoon. I’m such a dork–I even cried at some of the other grades performances. L had a little speaking part, which was so cute. I’m hoping to be able to get a video this afternoon. The band and orchestra, though? Ugh. Not looking forward to L being old enough to want to do one of those. I know it’s a good experience and all, and they have to start somewhere, but it is sooooo cringe-inducing to listen to them. Maybe the actual parents of the kids playing the instruments only hear sweet music?

    • Not really. Our 5th grade band did “We Will Rock You” every year at the school concert. The silver lining, though, is that their songs are usually short.

      I have to say, one of the things I like best about Bill’s charter is that they don’t do music performances. Really, I was happy the first couple of times but after awhile I just dreaded having to sit through them.

    • I loved Ds’s school holiday concert. The band/orchestra director really had a sense of humor. And the gym teacher, who sort if resembles Reverand Run, busted out a surprisingly decent violin solo. It was fun.

      • I loved the singing. Each grade does 2 songs and then they did a big finale (Celebration–and who doesn’t love a little Kool and the Gang?) complete with free form dancing. It was just the musical instruments that were painful to listen to, though I know everyone has to start somewhere.

        One of my favorite things about Lucy’s school is that it serves hearing impaired kids. The little ones generally have their own class, and the older ones are integrated into their regular grades. So every grade past about 2nd had 3-4 deaf kids standing there in the risers with the other kids, but signing the songs that the others were singing. The one hearing impaired girl in Lucy’s 1st grade class chose to just sing, as she talks and lip reads and only uses her asl interpreter for listening in the classroom. I love love love that Lucy has a hearing impaired friend and that she’s learning some sign language by being at that school.

  7. Trying again …

    In our neck of the woods, freakouts are inevitably caused by a tired baby who just WILL NOT NAP. He’s a ray of sunshine when he’s well-rested, but he hates napping so he gets grouchier and grouchier every day until after a few days he’s so tired he naps ALL day, and then the next day he’s a ray of sunshine again.

    I think three years old is going to be a challenge. He’s … determined.

    • Lucy seems to be better able to handle her emotions now, at 6.5, but we STILL get freakouts sometimes. Mostly when she’s tired or hungry, she gets really touchy. Cheap toys and trinkets breaking is a big trigger. And transitions are hard, but getting easier. But we have more and more times now when something happens, and I cringe to wait for her reaction, and she says, “oh well.” It really does feel like the hot temper that showed itself frequently from ages 2.5 to 6 is starting to moderate a bit though I know it’s likely always going to be a thing for her.

      • Interesting…and encouraging for my son and daughter in law in regards to Nicholas. He’s just a little past four now, and yes, he’s hot tempered, head strong, and easily emotional (just like his dad was). Of course, they worry about him, and honestly, my son was a “challenging” child, to say the least. However, they do grow up….it does get better.

  8. Well, at this precise instant, Lily is screaming at the top of her lungs for DH to come back downstairs, because he walked away from her instead of facing her so she could say “thank you” for him bringing her a glass of milk. So we have that going on for us.

  9. I love Jason’s blog – not as relevant to me, with bigger kids, but he’s got a wicked sense of humor!

    Can someone do a “46 reasons my 21 year old is freaking out?” lol (13 1/2 year old seems to be pretty mellow, Algebra excepted, these days)

    • I don’t need a list for the almost 12 year old. He lets me know why he’s freaking out. He makes it *perfectly* clear. There is really no risk that he will go unheard; when he wants to get a message across he leaves little to chance.

      My ten year old has hit a smooth patch. First one ever. I’m just gonna sit here and enjoy it.

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