Weekend Open Thread

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It’s the weekend, y’all! So I do hereby present a random potpourri of stuff that caught my eye.

First, my very favorite advice column: Thatz Not Okay. Caity Weaver at Gawker is KILLING it. Her response to the first question had me laughing like a loon. So. Very. Snarky. LOVE!

From Deadspin: The Haters Guide to the Oscars. I am a total Oscar geek and will be watching eagerly on Sunday night (saw 6 of the 9 Best Picture nominees, HOLLA!), but I stil l appreciated the snark in this article. For example, this passage on Amour pretty much captures the reasons I did not go out of my way to see it:

Amour: Hey everyone, I’ve got a great movie for you! It’s about two old French people in an apartment, and one of them DIES. Doesn’t that sound fun? This is the perfect movie-critic movie. Roger Ebert once said that, “No good movie is depressing, all bad movies are depressing.” BULLSHIT. Complete bullshit. I saw Kids, buddy. It’s a good movie, but I’d rather have that Casper guy fuck me in my sleep than watch it again. No, thank you. Movie critics are always like, “You can have your car chases and fighting robots. To me, there’s no greater suspense than watching Emmanuelle Riva wither before my very eyes!” I asked my mom, who is in her late 60s, if she wanted to see this movie and she was like, “Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to see that?” Whoa hey, you don’t want to see a terrifying vision of your possible near-future death? I guess there’s just no accounting for taste.

Here’s one more delightful reason to love our totally awesome FLOTUS. Srsly, I want to drink margaritas and eat chips and guac and gossip and dance with her. LOVE.

And finally, here’s a list of 20 sentences guaranteed to start an argument on the Internet. Among them:

6. Samoas are the best Girl Scout cookie.

12. New Orleans is lame.

13. Bacon’s all right, I guess.

So let’s come up with sentences guaranteed to start an argument in the mommy blogosphere! I’ll start:

1. I think parents who use the Crying It Out method are just cruel and I could never, ever do that to my baby.

(In case you’re wondering, I used the CIO method with both of my children. Worst mom EVAH!  ;-)

What are you up to this weekend? What’s on your mind? Chat away!

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102 thoughts on “Weekend Open Thread”

  1. This is almost too easy. I’ll go with:

    “I don’t know why women have children if they’re just going to let someone else raise them because they want to work.”

    It’s a rainy Saturday morning.mi’m on my first cup of tea, my girl is home for the weekend, and all is well. Have a great day, ladies.

  2. F is now 3 months, and apparently the “pleasant” switch was activated! She’s more aware of her surroundings and much less screaming, even in the car seat! Hooray! Although I love to cuddle, I woke up in a sheer panic this morning at 5:30. She usually sleeps through or close to through the night, but I ended up nursing her in bed at some point and I woke up with her completely under the covers!!! I have no idea how that happened. I was a wreck. She’s ok but no more sleeping for me.

  3. I love that clip of Michelle Obama and Fallon dancing. And I’m embarrassed by how many of my “moves” were highlighted…

    The kids come home from vacation this afternoon. I’ve missed them like crazy but it was also nice to have a week to catch up on work and sleep and spend a lot of time with DH. DD kept getting my Dad’s phone so I texted with her quite often. And she’d send all of these cute videos she’d taken of DS and herself. I’m looking forward to seeing them.

  5. Poo. Lucy and I were supposed to go to brunch with her bff and her mom (who is becoming a good friend of mine) and their American Girl dolls this morning. L can’t go to her friends’ birthday party, because we’ll be out of town, so this was a special thing for us to give her a present and celebrate her bday. L was SOOOO excited. But then her mom texted this morning and said they had to cancel. Not sure the details, but it is a punishment for her daughter for some behavior this morning. L seems okay now, but lots of tears and stomping around when I broke the news. I didn’t say why, just that they had to cancel. I’m bummed, too. We’ve been cooped up in the house with 2 snow days and are ready to see friends. I guess we’ll go to the children’s museum instead.

      • Yes, agree with this. YOU cleared time on your schedule, there were more people involved than just the misbehaving daughter. Obvs don’t know the circumstances, but if it were me I would have laid down different consequences (screen time, etc.)

        • This is all helpful. I usually think I am too lax about such things, but it did feel like Lucy was getting punished, too. Oh wll, we’ve had a fine day so far anyway.

      • My mom had a rule that events we’d already agreed to were “off the table” in revoking for punishment. The only exception was if I was too sick for school, I was too sick for a party. So when I got hit by a car in 7th grade, I went to school in the afternoon so that I would be sure to be able to go to my friend Shanda’s slumber party. It never occurred to me to ask Mom if she’d let me off that one time.

        Worst idea ever, by the way.

    • That sucks. We have run into it where it isn’t really a punishment, but the friend was just having behavior issues and couldn’t make it work. More for birthday parties and stuf, though.

      • Yeah, I’ve been that mom. I’ve had to cancel stuff for both kids, based on knowing that they were not emotionally with it to handle whatever the planned thing was.

  6. Thin mints arrived yesterday! I bought two boxes. My husband doesn’t eat GS cookies but he ordered two boxes because he knows I like them. My 6th grader bought two boxes from a classmate. So now we have five boxes.

  8. I am so stressed. The move next weekend plus starting back at work Tuesday. Baby won’t take the bottle and it’s stressing my mom out (she’s watching her) and i am just feeding off her stress, no matter how hard I try not to. I know a crying baby is not the end of the world, but her stress is making me so stressed!!!! Gah!!

    • Dh is going to work from home that day so he can bring her to me at lunch if needed. I don’t want my mom driving across town with a screaming baby. She is nervous about city driving as it is.

  9. Erika – thanks for turning me on to Thatz Not OK a few months ago – you’re right, it’s hilarious! Stealing an abandoned coat at synagogue? Thatz not a mitzvah.

    • She had me with the opening grafs:
      ************************************************

      Here is the conversation your wife is setting herself up for:

      “Cute coat! Where did you get it?”

      “This? I just fuckin’ found it and stole it. I take what I want. It’s called livin’ off the land. I like your coat too. I’m going to take it because I want it.”

  10. My senior year of college, CDs were just getting big, and my roommates and I had a running joke because it seemed like every guy we knew would randomly volunteer how many CDs they had. “I have 283 CDs!”

    This afternoon I was driving my 12 year old amd a teammate home from their baseball tournament and they were in the back if the car listening to music. His friend says, “How many songs do you have? I have one thousand, one hundred and ninety-five.”

    The Y chromosome never changes!

  13. I know it’s crazy because she’s 98 and really, how many years did I expect to have her around? but I am totally unprepared for dealing with the end of my grandmother’s life. There’s no hospice house here and the hospital won’t take her because there’s nothing she can do, so my mom and dad (though he’s sort of useless) are caring for her at home. We don’t have any idea what we’re doing (not that I”m doing much- she’s so intensely private that she won’t let me) and the emotional roller coaster is making it that much worse. I don’t know what “end of life” looks like because everyone I’ve known who died did so suddenly- heart attack aneurysm, etc- rather than this long, drawn-out process. I’m trying to focus on taking care of my mom- getting her out of the house everyday, encouraging her that she’s not doing this wrong, etc. Grandma has said no hospice care yet because she’s not ready to give up (though I think it may also be because she doesn’t want strangers around at this stage of the game), but I think the crying may never end. I worry I’m scaring the kids even though I’m trying not to cry in front of them. My sister is coming back down today to bring her son to stay with me for a few days so the kids can play during the break.

    All the things that people say like “She’s had a good life” and “It happens to everyone eventually” and “It is what it is” make perfect sense to my head but my heart just isn’t there yet. I know it’s selfish and greedy but I don’t care. I don’t want this and I don’t know how to deal with any of it.

    • I’m so sorry. I know when the times comes for my own grandma, I’ll probably be a mess.

      My mom went through hospice/end-of life at home. In all, it lasted about a week. Her body began to just shut down, bit-by-bit, so at the beginning she could eat some cereal, drink water, and use the toilet chair in her room with help. Because she was dying from cancer, she had morphine, so by the last two days she wasn’t really coherent. I’d dribble water into her mouth, but that was it. The days were just about waiting together. My family members were together, and we’d take turns just sitting in her room with her while she slept. Sometimes reading out loud. Saying things to her that needed to be said.

      Your grandmother is fortunate to have her loved ones near, and to be at home. Don’t hide your sadness from the kids — it’s ok to show them how to grieve. It’s good that you are supporting your mom through this. Tedious projects like puzzles are good ways to occupy yourself when you are at their house. Organize photos, cook, do things to keep your hands busy. And then maybe just sit with her and read while she rests. If you break down and need to be alone, do that. Tell your kids funny or sweet stories about her, even if you cry while doing it.

      • I remember counting between my mothers breaths… the breathing getting so rattly and wet… the lack of any urine output, the kidneys shutting down.. I’ve watched these stages 3-4 times now but I remember sitting on either side of my mom’s bed with my brother, I’d be doing the crossword puzzle and he’d be reading Sports illustrated.. my mom would take a breath…. then there would be silence.. we’d each look up and at each other… then.. another breath would come and we’d go back to our crossword puzzles and magazines. By that point the ‘person’ seems so far away that I think in many ways it makes the grieving easier… you go through it in stages… by the time my mom passed I felt like her spirit had already been gone for a week..

        • I had a night like that with my mom. The first night I was back after I’d flown home a few days before. My uncle slept on the living room floor, I slept on the overstuffed chair, and my mom slept propped up on the couch. I felt like every few minutes I’d sit upright because I’d hear her make a noise and I didn’t want to be asleep when she finally passed. At one point, she was sitting halfway up, looking up into space with an arm reaching for something. I liked to think she was seeing her grandfather or something wonderful. I couldn’t believe she made it through that night, and then made it a few more still.

    • I’m so sorry. I’ve heard it said this way, and it comforts me…i know you are a believer so permit me to share…we were created by God, originally, to never age. We are immortal souls. That’s why death always hurts and takes us by surprise; it is not the way things were meant to be. You’re allowed to feel blindsided even though your grandmother is 98. Saying she had a good life is not relevant when you are facing the years ahead without her. Death is always hard. Gentle hugs to you, my friend. What Jenna said; don’t hide your grief from the kids. It’s ok to grieve out loud.

    • I’m so sorry L, that is so hard. I agree that it is OK to grieve, and also for your kids to see it. I think sharing nice memories of your Grandma with them is a very good idea. It is wonderful that they got to know her as well as they have.
      I have no experience attending someone’s final days as my grandparents all died when I was too young to be here and my parents and inlaws are still with us. I think Cornflake and Katie have great suggestions though. Just being there goes a long way and I bet it will also help your Mom to share her grief with you.
      Meanwhile, I hope the end is as easy as can be for your Grandma, and all those around her. Sending you lots and lots of hugs.

    • Oh Laura, my heart aches for you and your family. No matter how someone dies, or at what age, it’s hard for everyone involved. When my dad died last year, we all said “at least he didn’t suffer” – but that was our heads – both my mom and I said (to each other, in private) that we selfishly would have done anything for more time. Your grandma has all of you around her, and your parents are lucky to have you there for support.

      Don’t worry about scaring the kids. They are way more resilient than you think. Seth and my nephews were all-stars last year. I think the most empowering thing I said to Seth was “there are times when it’s OK to cry, and this is one of them, because it’s really really really sad”. Giving him permission to cry, and letting him see me cry, was very important for him and for me.

      Hugs for you, my friend, and for your whole family, during a very difficult time.

    • Yeah, she’s 98, but we want the people we love to be around us forever. It’s still hard. Crying in front of the kids is fine. I’m sorry for you all.

      Would home health be an option to help your mom out with the heavy lifting?

    • I’m so sorry, Snarky. You’re entitled to those feelings; they’re not selfish or greedy. People say the.dumbest. things. They’re usually well intentioned, but not very sensitive.

  15. So, today we had the “Purim Speil” and Carnival at our Temple. Last night we did a “serious” reading of the whole story (nothing in Purim is serious, but last night was the whole service). Today was for the kids – silly costumes, lots of noise, and singing. Each year, our Cantor picks a theme – this year is was Frankie Valle. The “High School” kids are expected to be backup singers for all the songs, to lead the dancing, to help with the merriment, and to run booths at the Carnival. As an 8th grader, this was Seth’s first year as a HS student.

    He started off the morning grumping at me “I see no reason to be there before the Carnival because I”m not going to help sing”. Fine, mrgrumpypants, you can sit in the back.

    Well, that lasted about 10 minutes. First, Max (an 11th grader) grabbed S by the shoulder and said “we’re over there”. Then Aaron, a 10th grader, grabbed S’s hand as they started a Conga line of High Schoolers. And, yes, he was up there when they were singing.

    I was so proud of him for forgetting that he was supposed to be cool, for not being bothered that none of his ‘buddies’ were there, for doing whatever adults asked him to do, for working through lunch and thanking a friend’s mom for the crackers and cheese she scrounged for him…..for going outside his comfort zone and being happy about it.

    One thing I love about Temple membership is watching the kids grow up. I remember when Max was just Gabrielle’s little brother who got in the way of everything, and my friends remember Seth as the 2 year old who was dragged to every Religious School event. And then there they are – grown, poised, future leaders. We tried to get pictures, but the ‘kids’ were too busy dancing and singing and working to stop to pose!

      • Actually, more contemporary readings highlight Vashti, the King’s first wife. When commanded to appear naked and dance in front of his drunk friends, she said “no” and was banished, which opens the story and the opportunity for Esther to become Queen. Vashti has a small role in the story, but has been re-interpreted as a real kick-ass woman.

        • During my very first bible study I did when I was an evangelical, I scandalized the leader and everyone else by saying, “wait a minute, can we go back, why is this woman named Vashti the bad person in the story and Esther the good person?” That world view didn’t stick for me, it turns out.

          • Oh I am JUST reading about Vashti and Esther in “A Year of Biblical Womanhood.” Rachel Held Evans has the same take on it. I’ve always really loved Vashti. Without her, there would be no Esther. Although Esther was a bad ass in her own right, risking her life to disobey the king’s orders and all.

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