Tuesday Open Thread

Hi all! How are you today? As for me, still crooked, still headachey, but hanging in there.

Today I will share this diatribe by a fellow mom that is amazing in its smug condescension. Seriously, I thought it was satire, but I kept reading and realized with horror that she is DEAD SERIOUS. The subject of her judgment? Her “career woman” friend who’s not sure if she’s ready for children.

In a way, telling yourself that you’re not ready to become a parent is like saying, “I’m not ready to broaden my horizons.” Or, “I’m not ready to be humbled on a daily basis.” Or, “I’m not ready to feel my heart swell up with admiration and pride.”

I know it seems like a big step. I know it looks like motherhood is giving up yourself. It’s not. It’s just shedding the parts of you that you don’t really need anymore. There’s no guidebook that can prepare you for that; you learn through the experience of it. Motherhood is like boot camp for the soul.

And that was actually one of the least obnoxious passages. Seriously.

Reaction was swift and plentiful and universally disapproving. The comments attached to the article are equally entertaining. Give it a read and share your thoughts.

What else is on your mind today? Chat away!

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48 thoughts on “Tuesday Open Thread

  1. Yeah…not going to go there with the whole mommy wars thing though I’ll admit this is a new twist on things. After taking care of H all last week, I’m down with what he had but a slightly different version- fever, sore throat, aches- made worse because I had to present sick yesterday. DH is all over the schlep this afternoon so I’m spending the day catching up on e-mail and drinking tea.

  2. I spent yesterday in my office for a change. It is a long drive and it was basically nonstop meetings but it was nice to be down there. It would be tough to do every day, but it was nice to see the beautiful pink sunrise over the Golden Gate bridge.

    I have been thinking about the move to texting for adolescents. My 7th grader spends a lot of time texting with his guy friends and also with a bunch of girls. He and the one sorta girlfriend broke up but he has a whole lot of other girls texting him all the time, mostly innocuous but in some cases being fairly forward. Maybe because you are writing instead of speaking, there is a greater level of comfort somehow, having a layer of separation that makes people feel freer to say things they might not say otherwise. Also, the fact that it is so brief and you can sort of be on and off drops the level of ‘commitment’ to the conversation, vs. a phone call. I don’t remember having this level of interaction between boys and girls when I was in the 7th grade, although maybe it was happening with some other kids, I don’t know. I wonder how this is going to affect social development in general. I’m sure it is probably already somebody’s doctoral dissertation, or if not it will be soon. (Come to think of it, social media director would probably be a great job for him, super social person that he is, if such a job still exists 10 or 15 years from now. Who knows what the Tubes will look like by then.)

    • I’ve thought about that too. Interesting stuff. My daugher (9th grade) texts a fair amount – although hardly at all with boys. I really think it varies a lot. My son is in 5th grade and his group at school is already much more mixed with boys and girls than my daughter’s ever was.

    • My son texts, mostly with his buddies I think, and mostly to make plans for afterschool or the weekend. I had several guy friends in 7th grade, and even a boy friend. DD’s group in middle school was very mixed, even before texting.

      but I do agree that texting, chatting, FB messaging makes it easier to interact with whoever, and will definitely impact how our kiddos grow up thinking about interacting.

  3. My plan to send birthday invites late in order to increase the chances of lower attendance failed! We’ll have 16 (!) nine-year-olds here on Saturday for DD’s karaoke birthday party. Our house is small, so I hope there’s enough room for everyone to hang out, let alone find a seat for eating.

    Off to get a disco ball!

  4. I just about did a coffee-spit at “It’s just shedding the parts of you that you don’t really need anymore.” Bwhahahahahahahahah.

    You do you, Janine Kovac. You. Do. You.

  5. Whoa. Maybe your friend doesn’t know if she’s ready to have kids because she’s afraid of becoming whatever THAT was.

    I am AMAZED this woman posted this under her real name and also posted other places where she’s writes and blogs in her bio. This is a woman who has gone off the rails. I can’t imagine she hasn’t hurt her personal and professional reputation pretty badly.

    One of the comments under the original posting said “this gives womanhood, motherhood, and female friendship a bad name.” WORD.

    Hi all, I’m around, doing well, very busy in a good, fun way (for the most part :).

    • Oh, c’mon, don’t we all need a friend who will tell us the truth about being attentive while we’re preparing for that great boot camp of the soul, motherhood?

      Hi, nice to see you, btw, darling. How are you? How are the boys?

  6. Good holy mother of God. I’m one of those mid-30s career woman who eventually felt the clock ticking and had a baby, and I love him to death and am nothing but thrilled to have him (seriously, I love being a mother SO FREAKING MUCH), and I *still* want to slap her silly.

    Also, you are all free to compare your dogs to my baby. Hell, I compare my *own* dog to my baby.

  7. I loved how she said having kids make you aware of the weather forecast. I have no idea what weather is forecast anymore until I look out the window and make a guess.

  8. Not going down the mommy-wars rabbit hole….but here’s how MY day started.

    My work-distributed Blackberry wouldn’t turn on. I was working off site today, and had to email my boss and assistants that I didn’t have a phone.

    While I was bending over to unplug the Blackberry, I tripped. Since I was bending over, I had no center of balance and landed on my elbow and knee…pulling the Sirius radio to the floor (ah yes, tripped on the radio cord).

    Then, pulled myself together to go to work, trying to look dignified after the clumsy trip, walking to car and noticing the ice that DH should put salt on and I SLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDD onto my butt on the icy sidewalk. UGH.

    and OUCH.

    I called DD from the car to vent and she listened to it all patiently, said the right soothing things, and then said “it can only go up from here, right?”

    Which it did. Today I sat on the Incident Review Committee, which has to review any serious incident involving one of our consumers/participants. It was a range of minor-serious incidents, but a really great way for me to get a sense of the bigger agency and how it operates.

  9. Hey you fitness types out there… anyone ever used a fitbit or some other kind of electronic fitness tracker (nike fuel, jawbone, etc)? I am thinking of getting something like this for DH’s bday, but don’t have any first hand experience with them. And since I’m not much of a fitness buff, I’m not sure what I’m looking at when I compare them. If anyone has any insight, I’d appreciate hearing it.

    • I had a fitbit – destroyed it, actually, and I don’t know how. I used it just about daily for a year and then the housing cracked and the thing split apart, never to be whole again. I liked using it, but since I couldn’t figure out why it broke (was it me?), I didn’t replace it.

    • I think I read about the Nike one but I didn’t realize there were others. I use Nike+ to track how far I have run/walked, which I like having, and might not mind the accelerometer aspect for daily movement, but I am way too lazy to enter everything I eat online.

  10. Memo to DH: If you wear your old t-shirt that says “Guns don’t kill people, crazy ass motherfuckers kill people,” you’re going to have to handle some questions from your 6 year old whose reading is above average. Time to retire that one for awhile, especially given that you are pro gun control and don’t really endorse the message but just think it’s hilarious.

  11. So I have 2 happy things from today–

    (1) We are going to the Taj Mahal when we go to India! I didn’t think we could make it there because it’s so far away from Bangalore, but they are planning a 2-3 day trip up that way for our visit!! I can’t believe I’m going to see the Taj Mahal fer realz!!!!

    (2) The guy I met for drinks last night e-mailed and we both want to see each other again, so squeee :) Now if we could only find some free time …

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