Wednesday Morning Open Thread

What’s up?

Sorry for the paltry post, but I was recently promoted — yay! — and am working full-time. In terms of news, I have spent most of my time reading stories about the impending fiscal cliff, in which taxes may be raised and programs cut. (We are working on it, by the way!)

Do you have any thoughts about the fiscal cliff?

In other news: A Manhattan grand jury is hearing evidence against suspect Pedro Hernandez in the case of Etan Patz. Patz went missing in 1979 on his way to catch the bus for school. His body was never found and his family continues to live in Soho. I pray they receive some closure in this awful case.

What else is in the news? What’s up with you?

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About Elisa

I am a journalist and online organizer who is the co-publisher of this blog. When I am not online, I am shuttling around my two kids, an 8-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter.

32 thoughts on “Wednesday Morning Open Thread

  1. Heading home from the hospital soon with our (big!) bundle of joy. She’s been uber fussy and the pedestrian confirmed that as suspected, her clavicle is broken from shoulder dystocia during delivery. It only took 2 pushes to get her out but she was stuck pretty good so that second one they basically had to break her collarbone to get her out. Poor baby! And, thank God I got the epidural at the end because its brutal for both of us. Had it also with my first 9lb baby.

    Anyway I’m glad we found the source of her discomfort and it should heal itself fairly quickly. We just need to keep the shoulder joint immobile to minimize her pain, and nursing has an analgesic effect on babies so keep her fat, happy, and comforted. Also Taking her for preventative craniosacral therapy with a therapist I trust to make sure she doesn’t have lasting nerve damage.

    Thanks for all the warm wishes. I’m enthrall end with my little girl and feel about 90% better, OCD wise. The midwives were fantastic. A little stressed about the transition from 2 to 3 kids, but my kids are soooo excited about their baby that I think it will make it easier. My son, especially, is just so proud and helpful and excited. He’s an awesome kid.

    Love you ladies!

    • Aww, I’m so sorry about her clavicle. A friend of mine had that, her baby was stuck so the OB reached in and broke the clavicle so that she could come out. No fun but she recovered ok.

      You and musicteacher are rockstars with these births of teenager-size babies!

      • Yes, I keep looking at her and trying to figure out where all 9lb 2oz of her plus huge placenta and all that fluid fit! Also feel justified in bitching and complaining about how uncomfortable I was, I’m only 5’2″!

        I’m sad about her pain but obviously not mad about the delivery, since that is pretty much the standard way of resolving dystocia, as cruel as it sounds. Rather have a broken bone than have her be oxygen deprived or worse. The nurse jammed her elbow right above my pubic bone to pop the baby’s shoulders out and I’m sure that snapped the collarbone. Birth ain’t pretty sometimes. I’m really glad I’m done.

        • I’m also very glad for you that you are done! And I’m also glad that the OCD feels like it’s mostly resolved, though I wouldn’t be surprised if the next few weeks are wonky with the hormones and all. But you know that, of course, having been through it all twice before.

          Missing my tiny newborns after seeing your photos and reading your glowy sounding posts. I hope these first weeks are filled with wonderful times for you and your bigger family.

        • I’m 5’7 so I would say that she was your Josh going by proportions. 😉 I’m sorry to hear about F’s clavicle though. Poor sweetie. Give her some kisses and gentle hugs from Auntie Musicteacher!

          • No, you still blow me out of the water with your butterball baby-carrying capabilities…and natural births! You’re the rock star, I’m just the groupie lol

  2. Heading out to a conference in a couple of hours and looking forward to sleeping well for two whole nights. I just hope I won’t spend the time being worried about DH and the girls. Last night Clara had two big wake ups in which she would not be soothed without me and we caved. DH can usually totally handle it, but last night was rough because Lucy was back in their shared bedroom so he didn’t feel like he could just let Clara cry if needed. Ugh. She’s been off formula bottles for a month, but I that’s his backup plan if they have an impasse like they did last night. And Lucy’s going to sleep with him in our room so he can shut that door and not be so stressed about Clara waking her up.

    Repeating “not my problem, he can handle it. Not my problem, he can handle it. Not my. . . “

  3. WWMTD? This is a different spin on Pat of Butter’s post from yesterday. When do you let a good, motivated student fall on her face? Dd is a junior, and precalc is kicking her butt, in part because the teacher is not great. Unfortunately, she’s not getting the outside help she needs – either from friends, or our offers of an outside tutor. A C in the class would screw her GPA and possibly eliminate a now within reach college from, um, within reach.

    This is a pampered parent problem; I’m having a hard time deciding how much I should intervene.

    • Is it that she think she can climb out of the hole by herself? Or does she not see the hole at all?

      I went through this kind of thing and pre-calc with my freshman last year. In our case, he did not even recognize that he was in a deep hole, so it was impossible to get him to accept help. I did intervene after talking to the head of the math dept and to his teacher at conferences. In our case, he could move down a class- so we made him do it. Lets just say I was unpopular for a while.

    • FWIW, I usually try to do some discussion / offering (like you did) about things like this but at this point I am being a little more directive given the direction things have been going. But mine is much younger than yours so I am not sure what is right for that age.

  4. I think she thinks she can climb out on her own, or that she’ll just have a friend who has already taken the class help out occasionally. (True confession – I did the same thing with college calculus, and it did not end well.) She is working hard, as she always does, but the teacher is pretty ineffective and she doesn’t really just get math intuitively.

    • Yeah, math is not my strong point either and when you don’t have good instruction it is so difficult– even when you are really working hard at it.

      Hmmm… because she is such a good and motivated student, I would probably be inclined to try to save her from herself. I’m guessing that she rarely finds herself in this situation….so, the lesson might be that she needs to learn how to accept help?

    • I’d intervene. As “mature” and capable as I was in high school, I was still pretty clueless, and no point in letting her harpoon her GPA and affect her future options just because of lack of experience. Especially with bad teacher in the mix.

  5. Pissed at Lucy’s school today. She was supposed to go to aftercare today (which was written in her planner). She generally goes 2-3 days a week, usually Tues/Wed/Thurs. For some reason, she forgot this today and got in the line to go out the door where parents wait for kids. No one was there, obv. A friend, also who has a 1st grader, saw her there and asked if she was supposed to go to aftercare. Apparently, Lucy was adamant that she was not supposed to go there today. She waited with Lucy, and when DH didn’t show up (the other mom knew I was out of town), she tried to call him and didn’t get an answer. So, she offered to have Lucy go home with them and told the teacher that and they set off. DH got the message about 10 minutes later and went and picked Lucy up from the friends’ house. She was very sweet to hang out with Lucy, to try to call DH, and to let her walk to their house with them. And it sounds like the school was keeping an eye on the situation and probably wouldn’t have let Lucy wander off with a creeper. BUT *^&% her teacher!! I’m completely annoyed that she didn’t get her to the right spot after school. I don’t care IF Lucy insisted she wasn’t supposed to go to after care. She’s 6! Why do I write it in her planner every week which days she goes to after care if she is just going to let her go out the door anyway? And, plus, I walked Lucy all the way in to her classroom this morning and chit chatted with her teacher about how I was leaving for a conference in a few hours. And can I be 100% certain that Lucy couldn’t have walked out the door and gone off with a stranger? Not really. Again I say, she’s 6! DH is going to email her tomorrow and then maybe call the principal, depending on the teacher’s response. ARGH.

    • UGH – this kind of thing drove me nuts when DS was in elementary. Once in a while, there’d be a kid who was clearly in the wrong place.

      To be fair, though, the other parent should NOT have taken Lucy off of the school grounds. The school shouldn’t let anyone take a kid without permission and the parent should have brought Lucy to the office to find out what to do.

      • Yeah, I kind of think that, though she is a friend (her husband is my colleague) and she knew I was at a conference. She was part of our “take care of Lucy” plan back when we were expecting Clara, so she knows we trust her. She spent a lot of time, first scrambling to find DH’s phone number and then told the teacher and also the principal who were there that she would take Lucy home and they agreed before she set off. She was being sweet and helpful, and her daughter and Lucy were excited to have a little impromptu playdate. DH is emailing the teacher today, I hope she is contrite.

      • That is an interesting comment about the school letting people take kids. At our schools the kids leave the classroom and really for the most part there is not anybody supervising to see that they are going to the right place. The teachers don’t typically stand there at the classroom door making sure each child goes where they are supposed to go. Luckily nothing bad has happened but it is certainly not impossible that a kid could get picked up by the wrong person. (Like my own situation of taking a kid whose noncustodial mother gave me permission when I called her, but didn’t tell me she was noncustodial and I was supposed to ask the father.)

    • Our aftercare picks up kindergarteners and walks them over, but first grade and up are responsible for getting themselves there. Sometimes I’d forget to notify the aftercare program that a child was home sick or being picked up, and I’d get a call. And sometimes a parent would want to take one of my kids for a playdate and aftercare would call me for phone authorization before releasing them. But that was the only point of control. We have an unenclosed open campus and kids could very easily leave, with or without an adult.

      I always assumed that the weakest link in the system was me, because with my attention span I am perfectly capable of forgetting I have kids. So I drilled my boys on “what do you do if” scenarios from an early age. Once when my younger was in 2nd I was delayed by traffic, so when I got to the school I deliberately hid to watch his response. I wish I’d done that earlier, because it was reassuring to confirm that he could handle it.

  6. Do you hear that creaky uncomfortable noise?? That’s me, being stretched in a million directions. Yesterday, I sat staring at my calender for 15 minutes trying to find ONE MORE HOUR to see a kid. Between work (job #1), job #2, obligations to S’s school, and (oh I dunno) my kid and husband, there is almost literally no time left in the day. Today I was up at 6am “thinking”, so I turned on the laptop and sent two emails to a parent (job #1) and typed up minutes from a school meeting.

    I am trying so hard to not let S fall through the cracks. I let things slide for a few weeks, and then saw that his grades are slipping…..I know he needs to be more self-motivated, but I guess I still need to do more follow up with him.

    Today is the day his OT sessions start. We got a slot on TH at 6pm, which is awesome, but it means I need to leave work a little early (creeeak), run home to get him and drive to OT (creeeeeeeeeeak), hang there for an hour (creeeeeeeeeeak), then drop him off at home and run to job #2 (creeeeeeeeeeeaaaaak!). He and DH can have dinner together at about 7, then he has to do homework. Dinner for Sue, you ask? Not exactly sure about that one!

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