Saturday Open Thread

It’s the weekend, y’all! Some random thoughts rolling around inside my head…

How can it possibly be July already? SRSLY?

My 6-year-old rode her first loop-the-loop roller coaster last night… and LOVED it. This coaster was no kiddie ride. Her fearlessness leaves me breathless with admiration, but also a little bit scared. What will that fearlessness look like when she is a moody adolescent? Should I be worried, pleased, or a little bit of both?

What’s your stance on firecrackers and fireworks? Do they sell them in your neck of the woods? Around here, just a couple of cities allow fireworks stands, and they only sell the tame kind. We buy sparklers and watch the kids very closely. I remember being a kid, maybe 8 or 9 years old, and holding onto a firecracker just a second too long after lighting it. I got a pretty nasty burn and remember feeling embarrassed about it. But now that I look back on it… WHO let me hold a frickin’ firecracker, and why?! Sheesh.

Our President’s foes have called him a Fascist, a Communist and a socialist. He has also been called high-falutin’ and a thug. Now pundit Mark Halperin has continued that trend by calling him a p*ssy and a d!ck. You can’t make this stuff up, eh?

Lastly, is this the world’s worst future mother-in-law, or does she raise some valid points? I say she sounds absolutely insufferable, but that’s probably because I’m just the type of “vulgar” and “uncouth” woman who drives her batty. A part of me loves that this went viral and exposed her for the asshat that she is.

What’s on your mind today? Chat away!

91 thoughts on “Saturday Open Thread

    • You know

      I sort of agree.  Then again, I regularly “draw attention to myself” and I typically bring a hostess gift but rarely send a thank you note.  Guess I’m just as bad as this girl.

      • I think

        announcing what you will and won’t eat is rude
        I think sleeping in is rude when the household is awake
        I think not sending a thank you note is  rude- I always have done that after being a guest in someones home. always.

        and there’s drawing attentino and being an attention whore and I got a pretty clear picture of this girl.. She is in need of the Mary youngs stare of death.

        • Yup.

          I only read a little bit of the email but I agree – when you are meeting your future inlaws you had better be on your best behaviour.    Leave the princess behaviour at home.  

        • announcing what you will and won’t eat

          Is rude, I agree. But I’m imagining a situation where the (diabetic) DIL said “I can’t eat x because I’m diabetic” and MIL went nuts.

          My thought is we are only getting one side of the story, so I’m willing to give the DIL the benefit of the doubt that maybe it didn’t go down exactly as the MIL portrays it.

          • well she did clarify

            unless you are allergic so I thought she was giving a pass to medical conditions.

            Here’s the thing- right now I’m so SICK of entitled 20 somethings and early 30 somethings who have been conditioned their whole lives to believe the world revovles around them – I work with several of them who expect fireworks everytime they freaking file a report and can’t comprehend any kind of criticism…so maybe I’m bringing a biased eye to this but I could just seem some special snowflake princess flouncing in expecting the household to stop all its routines just for her.

            Yeah I’m a crab.  tell me something I don’t know…

            • but…

              she went on to tell her to STFU about being a diabetic. Charming!

              I hate entitled peeps too. But this woman is just plain mean, which is just as bad in my book, if not worse. Entitled people might grow up and get over themselves some day. There’s very rarely a cure for mean.

              • It is

                I mean, basic manners are important — sending thank you notes, etc. But etiquette and manners are all about relating to people in a way that doesn’t cause offense. This Step-Mother emailing a point-by-point analysis of this young woman’s behavior is TERRIBLE etiquette. And the comment about how the girl’s parents can appropriately pay for the wedding is just WAY below the belt IMO.

                • Paying for the wedding

                  I actually thought was reasonable although she should have left out the part about how the parents ought to have saved. But if she and her parents can’t afford a huge splashy wedding it is not unreasonable to suggest having a more modest one.

                  • But not in a point-by-point email critique

                    That conversation is one that should be had openly during a discussion of the wedding plans with the groom at the table — not an email listing all the reasons why you suck at life.

                  • Yeah, but

                    either the bride and groom are paying for it themselves, in which case it’s none of her business, or they’re asking her to, in which case she could either say no or say “I’ll give you this much and no more”.  

                • That’s what I was thinking

                  The gist of the email is “I feel so sorry for my son being stuck with a clod like you.” That’s not good manners! The young woman may be uncouth & entitled, but the mother sounds like someone who thinks she is way more classy & sophisticated than she really is. Miss Manners always says that good manners means not pointing out how bad others’ manners may be.

                • Exactly

                  Manners are there to make other people feel comfortable, and therefore the biggest breech of etiquette imaginable is to voice an objection to someone else’s.  

                  • Ha!

                    That reminds me of a long ago Miss Manners (or was it Emily Post) article. The writer was pleased with herself for having such good manners as to leave the water running while she used the toilet, so that no one could hear what was going on in there. Miss Manners’ response was “My dear, no one with good manners would ever hear what was going on inside a toilet.”

        • The DIL may well have been rude

          but this is when you bitch to your husband and your friends. Writing that letter upped the ante.

          But then releasing the letter to the press upped it still more. I don’t see much of a future for that relationship.

          • I don’t think she released it to the press

            She sent it to friends, who forwarded it to friends, and somehow it found its way to the media.

        • Most of that letter

          was about a diabetic as near as I could tell.  One of the thank you note riffs began with “I don’t know if you sent one….” and ended with “but, you should have”.  

          Unfortunately, most of what MIL bitched about included behaviors that diabetics absolutely do and, sometimes, must engage in.  They eat when needed.  They take seconds if needed.  They walk on beaches, or don’t, depending on what’s going on with the rest of their body at the time.  Sometimes they wake early or sleep late (especially if they’ve been up eating and drinking all night!).  Many women are thrown when they start a period a day early, for cripes sake (and don’t even get me started on how ovulation and menstruation can rake a T1 diabetic over the coals).  

          MIL sounds like a stone cold bitch.  Her DIL receives plenty of unwanted attention for her medical condition, and now the tables are turned.  She deserves the treatment she got.

    • I felt like

      I needed more info to know for sure who was right/wrong.  Like, MIL  complains about the future DIL sleeping late in a home where rising early is the norm — okay, if the girl languished in bed until noon, holding up everyone’s plans for the day, that’s one thing. But honestly, to my MIL, sleeping until 8 a.m. was sleeping late. And to me, that would not be rude.

      It also seemed like a lot would depend upon what relatives you were staying with — and I wasn’t really clear on that. If you’re staying with your future inlaws, to me, there should be a level of comfort, familiarity and relaxation. If you’re staying with your future inlaws’ siblings, cousins, etc — a more distant future relative — then you would need to be more formal and less laid-back.

      Finally, I would say those issues would have been better addressed in a phone call or face to face conversation than a long email.

      Just glad I’m not in that family! There are sure to be lots of fireworks in the future!

      • That long email

        Is all kinds of inappropriate and rude. This isn’t a company that treated you badly and took your money without providing goods/services. It’s a person who is going to be part of your family.
        I’m sure the younger woman was rude, but who lectures another grownup in writing like this?? What a hag.

        Full disclosure: I’m really bad about sending thank-you notes. I better get on it!

        • Yes.

          There’s a log of “go-along-to-get-along” in family relationships.  I cannot imagine what being part of that family would be like.  Let’s be real…hardly a day goes by that one of my kids doesn’t say or do something that ticks me off.  And yes, over the years, I’m sure I aggravated my parents, siblings, in-laws, etc., from time to time, too.  I know they have done so to me.  However, if one wants any kind of continuing relationship with extended family, there can’t be this kind of histrionic back and forth.

          And for the record, my mother in law did not care for me.  The entry in her diary for the day of our wedding started with “this is the worst day of my life”.  Really.  I’m not making that up.  I was very different than what she expected.  We understood things in totally different ways.  My father in law?  He’s even worse.  However, we don’t call or send nasty e-mails.  I leave that to my father in law.  By the way, his tendency to do such things is mainly why we have no real relationship with him at this point.

          • Story in my family

            Is that about two months after my parents married, my dad’s mom checked herself into a mental hospital for a few days. My dad was always her favorite (out of three boys), and the reasoning is that she was so despondant over losing my dad to my mom! He was only 21, but he’d been out of the house for three years. My parents eventually moved back to their hometown, and we lived a few blocks from my grandma for 25 years.I didn’t know all this until after my grandma died, but it didn’t necessarily surprise me. She always was a bit high-strung.

            When we announced our engagement to DH’s mom & stepdad, as she hugged me she said, “You have to let me have him once in a while.” Yes, DH is his mother’s favorite. I was a bit miffed at the time, but now I laugh about it. She is a darling lady and has never been obnoxious about wanting to spend time with DH. And now that I have a son, I sort of get it.

            • Well, as far as my

              mother in law was concerned (may she rest in peace), I can almost understand it, in a way.  Considering that my husband was the last of her children to leave home and marry, she probably was dealing with the fact that she’d be left alone with my father in law.  That could certainly make one feel as if the occasion was grim.  I also fully understood that it really wasn’t personal.  She would have most likely felt that way no matter who my husband married or whenever he might have done so.  That said, there were difficulties during our marriage with my in-laws.  They were constantly finding ways to passive aggressively get under my skin.  And it worked.  I just decided that it was best just to keep a certain distance and let it go.  Who wants to spend all their time being angry?

              I don’t know.  Maybe I’m unnatural, or maybe it’s because I still have kids at home, but I just can’t get that upset over my kids marrying or leaving.  Heck, I’m trying to shove.them.out.the.door.  

              • Maybe

                it’s because there are so many of them and it’s taken an extended period of time to get them all through the growing process. When the oldest five are out of the house permanently and you’re left with the last two, you may feel differently. Or not!

                I’m home absolutely alone this weekend and I am so relaxed. My mom sounded a bit incredulous and kept saying, “You’re going to be so lonely. You’re going to really miss them.” Well, the kids are cute and I miss giving them a kiss goodnight, but not enough to vow never to do this again. They are having a fantastic time with their cousins and I’m going to sleep until noon tomorrow, lord permitting. So maybe I’m unnatural too.

                • Well…let’s see…

                  It’s Saturday night, a couple minutes short of midnight.  Technically, I do only have two kids living at home.  However, I just came upstairs because three of my kids that don’t live here are down in my kitchen with a couple of friends making so much noise that my hard-of-hearing-self couldn’t hear the TV in the family room.  They’ve been here most of the day.  And they’ll be here tomorrow.  Yeah.

                  My mother in law used to take all my kids for a week two times each summer.  Be careful…that’s how we got our last baby.

        • me too

          I cringe because I am not good about sending thank-you notes either.

          A few of the points raised in that letter might have been valid, but the overall tone was inexcusable, and most of the stuff was not “rude” in my opinion.

          • Thank you notes

            In my family, we don’t send thank you notes when visiting other family members.  I can see it when staying at someone who isn’t your relative.  Also it could have been a “required visit”.  We have those with my inlaws where we have to stay with them for family occcasions.

            OTOH my MIL does send thank you notes when she stays here.  Maybe she thinks I’m incredibly vulgar and uncouth ;-)

    • Yeah.

      MIL sounds like a horror, but it sounds like the girl might be a bit of a princess.   She apparently was loudly picky about food (and yes she should have talked to her hostess about her dietary restrictions before the visit) and I’d love to know the story behind the pub visit.

      • I know

        I think I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for this visit.

        And yet there is no way in hell I’d want to be part of this family.  I think those two (MIL and DIL to be) deserve each other.

      • Nope, not a princess

        One doesn’t plan a diabetic day.  Each day and each meal is different.  There aren’t “restrictions”, you just work with what you have at the time.

        Dispite MIL’s bitching, T1 diabetics do, in fact, eat when they need to regardless of what others are doing.  If it’s been too long since they last ate, they eat.  If they took insulin for any number of reasons, they might need to eat. It’s a constant balancing act: stress, hormones, sleep, travel, food, walking, driving, younameit, all factor differently each day and are very hard to balance.  And if she needed more food, so be it.

        Such a drag for MIL that DIL’s disease puts her out so!  

        • Honestly

          I know it’s obnoxious to make an armchair diagnosis of a woman based on a few paragraphs of writing, but that email just screamed “personality disorder” to me.  No healthy or decent person takes chronic illness that way.  Like “did she give any thought to my feelings before developing diabetes?”  

    • Yeah, she sounds rather bratty…

      and hey, I just got rid of a potential daughter in law who was a real pain in the behind and I certainly did complain, too.  However, the e-mail sent by the mother was every bit as rude and “vulgar” as the supposed behavior of the girl.  I wouldn’t, and didn’t, stoop to that point.

      She does kind of offend me over her remarks about the diabetes, though.  People who have no chronic health problems are often awfully quick to tell those dealing with such issues how we should go about our lives.  That’s over the line.

      • WORD

        People who have no chronic health problems are often awfully quick to tell those dealing with such issues how we should go about our lives.  That’s over the line.

        That’s the part that made me want to punch MIL in the face. “You’re diabetic? GET OVER IT!”

      • Amen

        The worst part is when people don’t have a clear understanding of the variables and challenges of chronic health issues, they can’t possibly understand the various implications.  But they manage an opinion anyway.
        How charming.

    • maybe DIL is insufferable too

      But for MIL to call the DIL a gold digger? And say she “pities” the future groom? And tell her she belongs on some skanky British reality show that’s basically the equivalent of VH1′s “Charm School”? Makes MIL (and she’s the groom’s stepmother, actually) much worse.

      I also read she sent the email 3 times in one day. You know, just to make sure DIL got the message! LOL.

      I also didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to help myself to seconds without asking. No one gets between me and my food, I guess…

    • But manners are about

      keeping yourself in check, not using them to feel superior to others.  I thought the letter made it pretty clear that a) she disliked the DIL on sight or perhaps even before they met, and set about looking for evidence to justify it and b) she had no desire to have a positive relationship with her.  She was obviously making a calculated attempt to undermine the future DIL’s security in her relationship and new family–if she had been genuinely concerned about any of these things, she would have brought them up in person with one or both members of the couple.  

      IMO, the fact that she wrote this email at all really calls her credibility into question.  She consciously chose to grossly overreact to things that were minor, if they even happened at all.  If some of the girl’s behaviors were rude, they are the kind of thing that any gracious person would just absorb.  The whole thing kind of reminds me of my grandma staying with us and sleeping in my brother’s room when he was somewhere between two and four.  She found a rock under his bed, which she interpreted as a deliberate slight from my mother.  It was the subject of many an embittered letter.  She saved the rock for the rest of her life.  

      • whoa

        You know, coming from generations of women who can hold multi-decade grudges with inexplicably strange roots, I have to admire that. That is a … masterpiece in its own right.

      • Haha

        That is an awesome story about the rock under the bed.

        I mean, if you purposely wanted to slight someone, couldn’t you think of a better way to do it? She might not even have looked under the bed.

        • But don’t you see?

          Not looking under the bed is just as malicious as putting a rock there yourself!  If you love someone, you look under the bed before they sleep in it.

      • Wow.

        If you stay in my son’s room, you might find worse than a rock in there. There are bones, preserved fish, dead spiders in matchboxes, snake skins…. It’s HIS room. You don’t like it…stay somewhere else.

  1. both are insufferable

    She is British, right? I understand that type of person who wants to observe all kinds of decorum that seems old-fashioned, but at the same time, this young woman is marrying into that world ill prepared. Trashing her future in-laws is a very immature, short-sighted thing to do. My in-laws did not like me(or know me) when my husband and I married, but I treated them like my own parents, remembering birthdays, etc. and eventually won them over. This girl has poisoned the well big-time.

    • supposedly she forwarded the email to friends

      one friend forwarded to another friend, and it went viral. I don’t think that qualifies as “trashing.” And while it wasn’t wise to share it, I can totally see myself doing that if I received an email that horrid. Sharing it with close friends, in a show of “Can you BELIEVE this sh!t?” LOL.

      • I would totally do that

        send the email along to my friends. But I would assume my friends would not keep forwarding it until it ended up in the wrong hands.

    • my in-laws are British

      and my mother-in-law would never send that kind of letter, even if someone violated whatever rules of decorum.

    • Seemed to me

      that it was the MIL who poisoned the well.  Do you think she could get along harmoniously with any DIL?  I guess she did the girl a favor; better she learn now that she might as well not even try.

  2. Fireworks

    I am absolutely anti-home fireworks for my family. The only things I have ever let my kids do are sparklers. I don’t know if it’s reading a bunch of tort cases in law school, or just my general sense of “you could really hurt yourself” or the fact that we were never allowed to use any fireworks as a kid — but we do nothing and I get antsy when neighbors are shooting off fireworks.

    Of course, this year it should all be a moot point since fireworks are banned almost everywhere in the state because of the drought.  But I’m sure there will be idiots who shoot them off anyway [idiots for violating the ban; not that everyone who shoots of fireworks is an idiot].

    you may have seen Colbert’s story on fireworks cancellations in TX:

    http://blog.chron.com/

    • here in nm

      there is a law the  fireworks CANNOT be banned.

      I keep thinking, if TEXAS of all places has banned them, we need an emergency session to overturn that law. WTF? Between the Wallow Fire and Las Conchas Fire, we’re in some serious trouble. The grocery stores have stopped selling fireworlks but there are independentr tents all over town

  3. Ok.

    We the obnoxious family that puts on our own fireworks show.  We’re doing it tomorrow night.  We usually have a party.  It’s our “time to blow sh*t up” night.  Yes, they are illegal…but, it’s a Toledo thing.  It’s over looked unless you really are blowing something up or the neighbor’s complain too much.  My neighbors don’t complain.  They’re all doing the same thing.  In fact, one of our former neighbor’s around the corner used to put on a $10,000 show each year.  That’s right.  About $10,000 worth of fireworks.  Rivaled the shows of many small towns.  They and about 10 other people pooled their money and spent all year buying the stuff.  

      • Right. I’m happy with people having fireworks.

        Most years. This year, AZ has had its largest wildfire in history, NM has had its largest wildfire in history, TX has seen more acres burned than in any other year in history (and the year ain’t over yet). Fireworks are insane here. The entire state is tinder. They’ve had to close the bosque here in Albuquerque! That’s the forested area next to the river, they never close that because there, it’s usually wet. It’s just too dangerous fore fireworks. It’s been since mid-May Albuquerque has been blanketed in smoke, it’s been constant (to varying degrees) since then. Every time I hear someone firing one off I want to find them, punch them in the face and ask them what the f**k they’re thinking, you know? It has never been this bad. Ever.

        • I’m following

          The fires closely b/c I grew up in Northern NM, and I agree it’s insane about the fireworks and that the ban on forest land can’t be applied throught the state, particularly since the fires just keep getting larger. I just saw that the Donaldson fire is almost as big as Las Conchas.

  4. Fireworks

    I come fromt he land of the big Fireworks Tent next to the highway.  I used to love ‘em.  Not so much now that I live out east.  That being said, I have 16 people coming to my house in about 3 hours and DH has chosen this moment to re-arrange the tupperware cabinet.

    Sigh.

  5. HATE home fireworks

    At least the way the asshats in my neighborhood do them. They start a week or so before the 4th and they’ll go on for probably a week after and it’s pretty much non stop firework noise until after midnight every single night. If it were just this weekend and they stopped at a more reasonable hour, it would be more tolerable. I live in a somewhat sketchy neighborhood where there have been actual shootings nearby recently, so it scares the sh!t out of me every time there’s an extra loud pop outside. I’m grateful that DD’s HEPA filter provides enough white noise and she’s a deep sleeper so she doesn’t wake up AND that the 16 year old dog is now too deaf to hear them.

    And those damn kids should get off my lawn–BAH HUMBUG.

  6. Regarding the step mother

    The first rule of etiquette is not to confront, correct, or be rude to others. The SM broke all the rules in reprimanding her step daughter in law to be.

    What the SM did was much worse than the bride to be. Being hungry and sleepy is not a crime, and some mothers would love to comfort their children et al with food they like, and a cozy place to sleep in. It sounds like the bride to be was comfortable enough to be herself, and the SM took great exception.

    I’m guessing that if it hadn’t been about food and sleep it would have been about something else. Some people have to belittle others to feel good about themselves. They deserve our pity. Just think what it must be like to hate yourself so much, you go through life kicking others.

    • yes, taking a second helping not a crime

      As a host, I do offer my guests seconds, but I would not consider it rude for them to get more food before officially invited by me.

  7. when I first read

    the email I was expecting something much different.  Alot of the “violations” are violations of basic manners I think. (although since the girl is diabetic the food stuff gets a pass) But anyone w/ manners isn’t going to send out an email like that. they are going to let it go or perhaps quietly and nicely let them know what is expected at the next visit.  so the step MIL is just as bad if not worse.

    this woman sounds like my SIL though.  When she would visit our ILs she would take an hour or more in the bathroom (they only have one in the whole house), sleep til noonand get up and forage in the kitchen for breakfast when everyone else was having lunch. She also suggested that MIL use the Waterford crystal decanters for wine (although it was a whiskey decanter)  That was the funniest thing to me since my MIL is Irish and you know…you don’t actually USE the crystal.  But to be fair SIL may not have know that one.

    and I am in the NOT fireworks camp.  What ticks me off the most is when the police ignore it (and I mean people letting of fireworks RIGHT behind them!)  when it is illegal here.

    • Me, too

      I don’t like hearing them throughout the neighborhood for a full week. I don’t like the garbage that is left all over the street. I worry about the safety of everyone around them. And I don’t think they’re all that exciting to look at. I’d much rather watch a big town fireworks display.

      There is one exception — at our friend’s lake cottage they have a long dock, and do store-bought fireworks off of that. But we all are way back on the deck, and the fireworks are at the end of the dock. That’s fun because of the setting and I feel safe. I’m ok with sparklers but only with adult supervision.

  8. a few valid points, but…

    way out of line to say things like “I feel sorry for Freddie” and generally make the young woman out to be unworthy of joining the family.

    I’m bad about sending thank-you notes, and that really is rude. There are nicer ways to point it out, e.g. “Freddie’s sister enjoyed spending time with you and probably would have appreciated a note from you.”

    Sleeping in too late? The girl was probably jet lagged. Coming from the US to the UK it’s common not to be able to fall asleep until 3 am or later.

    Announcing what she will or will not eat–need to know more about what actually happened here. Was it related to her diabetes? How was it said? I used to be kind of a picky eater. I agree that it’s rude to announce at someone’s home, “I don’t like X food,” but saying that you are vegetarian, for instance, is not rude–it’s almost rude not to let the host know things like that ahead of time, because they will feel bad later if they serve you something you can’t eat.

    Not planning ahead for how a long outing would affect her blood sugar? This girl probably didn’t realize how long the outing would be. Blaming her for that is ridiculous and unfair.

    Comments about how bad it is to get married in a castle were way out of line. I don’t love what all my friends and relatives have done for their weddings, but I’m sure not all of them were wild about my choices. It’s rude to point that out–sure to create unneeded stress for the couple on their wedding day.

    In general, I would say maybe the young woman could have done more to be gracious with future in-laws, but MIL is much more in the wrong.

    • Exactly

      I will love my mother forever, even if she hadn’t done everything else for me, because she never said a word about my wedding. It was absolutely opposite of anything she would’ve ever wanted for me, and I’m her only daughter. I didn’t wear her dress, I didn’t get married in a church, I only had eight people, it wasn’t even in the US. But she never once said anything about being disappointed. She only said she wished my grandmothers could’ve been there, but they were at our large reception back home, so everyone was happy.

      Do you wonder what the young woman’s boyfriend thought about all this? Wonder if he had any clue his mother was like this.

  9. I hate fireworkers, firecrackers, sparklers and

    every variation of them with a passion that I can not describe.

    right now i’m about ready to lose my marbles if my neighbors and their big boom boom toys don’t SHUT THE F*CK UP ALREADY

  10. washable red marker on the face?!?!

    We went to a friends house for dinner and their 6.5 year old did some “facepainting” on Lucy and another little girl. We didn’t worry too much about it because it was washable marker, but it didn’t come off very well. It faded a bit with soap and water on a washcloth, but not much. Also, beyond the redness of the marker, I think she could be sensitive to the red dye because her cheeks are really flushed (and were before we started scrubbing). Her cheeks are already bright red, so I hate to try something harsh like rubbing alcohol unless that’s our only option.  Any MT ideas out there?

    On the up side, we all go to church together. So it’ll be funny to see all three girls tomorrow and compare cheeks…

    • Cold cream

      when I was a clown (yes, I was a clown) that took off virtually everything. :) Just don’t use a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser like one of my friends used on his kid, it of course rubbed off some of her skin and gave her a nasty, shiny little “burn” on her cheek.

    • Not as bad as red fingernail polish

      in the hair.  We were on our way to a big family party and my daughter decided to put red streaks in her hair.  With nail polish.  I had the bright idea of using polish remover to get it out.  Bad idea.  Just faded it pink.  My then five year old daughter had pink streaks in her hair for a couple of weeks.

      I’m surprised that the washable markers didn’t come off with water for you.  We got them for Nicholas a few months ago, and I was really pleasantly surprised with how easily they seemed to wash off of things…including hands.  Maybe it’s the red.  I always hated red dye in anything.  My kids weren’t even allowed to have any food with red coloring in it.  

      I would go with the cold cream if you have it.  After all, it will even take water proof mascara off.

      • Washable?!?

        I don’t think all “washable” markers are created equal. We’ve had good luck with crayola brand, but not as much with off brands. I don’t know what this was. Also, probably 1.5 hours had passed between the facepainting and trying to get it off once we got home. Or maybe it was the red, as you say. Who knows? If it doesn’t come off tomorrow with soap and water in the morning, I’ll pick up some cold cream. I don’t use that, so I don’t have any in the house. Now, if I had a clown history, I’m sure I’d keep it stocked…but sadly, no such experiemce in my past!

        • Not just for clowns!

          I keep a jar of Pond’s because every once in a while if I don’t need a deep cleaning (I didn’t wear makeup & didn’t sweat much that day) and I want a good softening, it’s perfect. And to me, it smells old-fashioned & glamorous!

    • you’re supposed to get the color off?

      Huh.  Nobody told me that.

      I saw a little boy yesterday whose mom admitted she’d been preoccupied with her own tye dye project and didn’t notice he’d gotten into the basins on the ground and was dying his own arms, legs, and face.  Lots of colors on this kid, and they’re not gonna wash off any time soon.  I told her I thought he looked good.

  11. Sorry to sound harsh upthread

    regarding the poorly mannered MIL.  At 3am I’m still up forcing juice and tiny crackers into an exhausted child.  I don’t have loads of patience for a woman like that right now and I should have known better than to have clicked over.  I loved some of the comments to this letter, especially this fictional reply:

    Dear Future Mother-In-Law,

    It appears your mother was a bit lax in forming your manners. There are plenty of finishing schools that might be interested in helping you polish up a bit, if I am indeed to be joining the wider Bourne family.

    For future reference, here are a few areas where you lack:

    – when feeding guests at dinner, it is common to make sure they have enough to eat, they shouldn’t have to forage through the rest of the dishes in an attempt to fill themselves on cucumber sandwiches

    – when hosting guests, you do not dictate the way in which they will spend their holiday, they are guests in your home, to be treated as such

    – your family should be able to take a joke in the local pub without getting its panties in a twist

    – one never mentions money, particularly the finances of others, it simply isn’t done

    – one never pissses off the future bride of their beloved son, since the bride is the one who will be sharing his bed at night while mother sits at home, collecting dust, waiting for her son to acknowledge her existence after she insulted and shamed said bride

    Sincerely,
    Future Mrs. Bourne

    We’re in the midst of our annual, extended family vacation.   It’s the height of our summer; even the older kids would rather eat rocks than miss it.  The menfolk are getting up in a couple of hours to fish with grandpa.  They can’t wait-they adore him:)  

    I’m grateful to have my computer here so I can check messages and see what’s been going on here (and to stay awake:).   Hope everyone has a great weekend!

    • I appreciated your perspective

      because I don’t have nearly as much first hand knowledge of the challenges someone with diabetes faces.

    • Appreciated your perspective, too…

      Diabetes is nothing to take lightly. I can’t imagine the letter if DIL had received shock and ended up in the hospital? Talk about an “inconvenience.”

      MIL sounded VERY insensitive to the medical needs of the DIL.

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