Thursday Morning Open Thread

Happy Thursday! The weekend is almost here and I can’t wait! I’ve been so tired all week. It feels as if I’m still playing catch-up with that one damn hour we lost. But on the bright side, I get to enjoy a bit of the sun…

Now, on to some interesting stories that caught my eye…

According to this article, unhappy children “end up unwell”. It seems that children who have been described as “miserable” or “unhappy” by teachers were five times more likely to be off work due to ill-health when middle aged.

“Children who are unhappy and disinterested in school often come from households where parents are disinterested and there is a lot of deprivation.

In another study, it was revealed that social networking sites such as facebook can be harmful to your health because they reduce levels of face-to-face contact. What do you think?

Did you know that toddlers who use gestures often develop better vocabularies? Using gestures allow children to use their hands in order to express meanings that they haven’t formed the words to.

And finally, have you ever sent an email you regretted sending later? If this has happened to you, you should head on over to the Official Gmail Blog.

Gmail can’t always prevent you from sending messages you might later regret, but today we’re launching a new Labs feature I wrote called Mail Goggles which may help.

When you enable Mail Goggles, it will check that you’re really sure you want to send that late night Friday email. And what better way to check than by making you solve a few simple math problems after you click send to verify you’re in the right state of mind?

That’s right ladies…MATH!! LOL! Have you ever sent an email you later regretted?

Any interesting stories catch your eye? What else is going on?


49 thoughts on “Thursday Morning Open Thread

  1. funny

    Mail Googles is really funny. If you need that, you might want to lock your computer or your wine up. ha ha. They need Mail Facebook. I can’t believe some of the stuff people post on their, but I think that’s totally intentional. Mail Texting?

  2. just saw a teaser

    for Good Morning America — an upcoming story on healthy, cheap meals you can cook for your family. I’ll look for a link online and post it later. If I heard right, they said average $1 per day?!? Maybe that is per person?

    • here’s the story

      from the clip on GMA, looks like a single woman eating 2 meals on $1 (average) per day. Perhaps not much help to us moms trying to feed picky kids, but when I was looking for the link to the story and googled “eating $1 day” I found LOTS of other sites out there.

  3. This weekend

    we’ve got Pablo’s birthday, my brother’s birthday, and visits with family (although for the first time ever, I think, DH and his parents are fighting so much I don’t think they’re going to come see him.  He’s very, very hurt and very, very pissed off), including Pablo’s great-grandparents and my folks (weird as THAT still is).

    Yesterday, Andy was at the hospital and made one of his surgeon’s cry with his leg movement and strength.  She kept telling me, on the phone, that “I saw his spinal cord.  This is impossible!”  She was SO happy for him, and we are taking him off some of the nerve pain medications, so he’ll have less interactions.  He asked her to come to his Firefighters’ dinner and she accepted.

    Today we’re going back to the county hospital for a follow-up to the ER visit.  He’s going to ask his other surgeon, who he only has vague, ICU memories of, to come as well.  (“She was beautiful, and had long black hair and glasses.”)  Between the two doctors and his caretaker, who’s also coming as his female guest, he’s going to have more dates on that night than ever before in his life (he never went to a school dance or anything and is REALLY awkward around women.  The fact that these women are already past all that, having saved his life and have seen him at his worst and…less than decently dressed, he doesn’t feel like he’s got to fake being cool.  Hence, he acts cooler.  It is adorable).

    • aw…..

      how lovely for Andy, to have so many dates for this dinner! And wonderful news on his progress.

      Happy birthday to Pablo and to Andy! Here’s to a wonderful year for both of them! (and the rest of y’all, too!)

    • Congrats and birthday wishes!

      I hope that the week-end is wonderful.  I am always so happy hearing about the Firefighters event.  And you take such great photos – I’m already looking forward to being there vicariously through them!  Andy has a great set of women supporting him everywhere:-)

    • Wow

      Pablo’s great-grandparents

      So there’s five living generations of his family? That’s so cool!

      Happy birthday to Pablo and Andy! I hope it will be a fun weekend for all of you.

      • Sorry, early morning typo

        Pablo’s grandparents, so the kids’ great-grandparents.  In their 80’s, and not doing so hot, either.  If Rory has kids when she’s 25, that’ll make my mom 72…we just don’t have kids young enough for great-grandparents, really (although I did meet my dad’s grandfather a few times.  Cranky old man).

        • Not bad though

          We only got back to three generations 7 years ago in my family, and 2.5 (with DD1) in DH’s. We’ve lost all grandparants when we were fairly young (my mother’s parents died in their 60s, my father’s were 46 when he was born). And our generation are all having kids when well into our thirties. I think one great-grandfather of mine saw me once, but he died before I turned one.

          Have fun getting together with them all!

  4. I hate this damn time change!

    Not only does it take me weeks to adjust, but I’ve had to pull my son almost kicking and screaming out of bed every morning.  

    Unhappy and disinterested children coming from homes with a lot of deprivation?  Are we surprised?  I’m not blaming parents, rather I’m wondering if it could be that these parents literally CAN’T help their children?  When we’ve had kids who were unhappy in school, we had the means to change the situation.  As to unhappy children growing up to be more likely to be “unwell”, well, I think this is always an interesting point.  I’ve wondered for a long time if depression wasn’t a forerunner of many disease processes.  I don’t believe depression is necessarily the cause of the disease, but maybe the earliest noticeable effect.

    • ITA

      On the time change and the information on disinterested children.  

      I also think there is a link between depression and physical illness.  I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis when I was 19 and depression came soon after…I got sick of being sick and it definitely had an emotional impact.  I also see a connection in depressed folks having aches and pains and feeling generally unwell.  Emotional and physical health definitely go together.  

      • goes both ways

        I find that my emotional ability to deal with pain is far more important than the actual pain level.  I have chronic back pain that’s usually not bad at all, and I’ve had it long enough that I’m ok with the occasional flare ups.  But a long stretch of low level pain will wear me down, and once I get tired of it my ability to cope plummets.  I feel like my pain is worse than I know it is, so it limits me more when my emotional state is down.

      • I think depression, especially low level

        ongoing depression, can often by a symptom of many illnesses.  There have been many studies that point to this being particularly so in cardiac conditions, and especially with women.  Diseases that effect hormonal balances, like diabetes, could most certainly present with depression as a symptom.  Your ulcerative colitis could also cause problems, I would imagine.  Aside from being depressed over not feeling well, the actual condition could be causing low level dehydration and malnutrition that could contribute.

    • I think liza has some depression

      and anxiety issues too as I have dealt with the crying and the i dont’ want to gos for FIVE YEARS now… so over it. so done. so ready to find the nearest band of gypsies and say “here…good luck to you… maybe you can get her to school”  

      Liza’s dad never seemed happy and Liza never seems it either.  I”m so tired of living with it …. today I thought after id ropped her at school I just wanted to keep driving right past Concord and head for the Canadian border and reinvent myself as a waitress in some small town where I could live above the local beauty parlor and no one would know me and i”d never ever have to deal with the crying and the stomach aches and the screaming and the scratches on my face and neck again.

      oh yeah I know…she does this b/c she’s “safe’ with me b/c she “loves me” well I lived with that brand of love from her dad and am so over it…  truly today I wanted to keep driving and never come back.

      • {{{katie}}}

        I can hear how frustrated and sad and mad you are.  I’m so sorry it takes so much out of you.  Hugs….

        P.S.  How did you end up in MY escape fantasy???  Except no way my little garret is in Canada.

      • i have always admired

        your willingness to state exactly how you feel.  i can identify a bit with what you are saying as man, did i have very angry feelings about my sd.  dealing with potential depression issues is very difficult especially when you suffer the brunt of the illness. it’s maddening, frustrating and just sad. let us know if you need support/suggestions. always here to hear YOU out.

      • Aw, MK, I’m so sorry

        Rory was like that as a baby, and is still not the most…snuggly kid.  I know the temptation you felt, if not exactly to the degree.


        • she’s just a worrier and obstinate and

          frankly I”m so over it — I wake up every morning and literally pray in teh shower “please god please let this morning go well” and then that first “noooooooo” comes and we’re off — I literally dumped her onto a teaher this morning — she’s nearly TEN people — this isn’t a toddler at preschool.  and of course she’s happy as a clam there and everyon loves her and meanwhile I’m buying “scar-away” by the case to put on the scratches on my face and back from her fits…

          I am so over motherhood believe me.  So. fucking. over. mother. hood.  

          • I rather like motherhood,

            but if I could pay someone to take over total responsibility for schooling/educating, believe me, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

          • I like babies

            and toddlers. The bigger they get, not so much. I’m not a very good mother, either. Bah.

            What does the doc say about her violence? That’s one thing that scares me about DD – she has a propensity for striking when mad…she paid dearly for it when she hit me once so now she just shakes her fist and stamps her feet. I would hate for it to evolve into a scar-away moment. Everyone thinks my DD is an angel, too, and it’s frustrating because then they think I’m just a bitch or something. Totally sucks. I empathize with you to a certain extent, but you’ve got it way way worse than I do. Sorry.

            • you know what I get from my ex?

              Why. Can’t. you. HANDLE HER ….KATE!!!!  

              um b/c she’s as big as a small adult and I can’t physically make her do anything she doesn’t want to?  

              • oooooooh, I hate that one

                DH will run it by me every now and again. My solution is to leave them together for a bit. Then I usually get the “gee, she’s challenging and hard to manage sometimes” from him…

              • Totally sucks

                My DD is small so I can wrangle her physically if need be…thank goddess. And, yes, she rarely pulls the same crap with DH. Ugh.

      • My son, in 9th grade,

        is rarely a happy camper when it comes to school.  Lots of factors, one being that he probably doesn’t physically up to par at least part of the time.  I can dread the mornings.  Like Liza, I believe he’s letting me know because he feels safe in, well, letting me know.  Ofcourse, all the adults in the school absolutely love him and I hear, time and again, what a wonderful, delightful young man he is.  

  5. okay, I haven’t read the article

    but if you’re unhappy at work, aren’t you more likely to call in sick when you really aren’t, or if you’re just a little sick? I mean, when I have loved my work, I would brush off the sniffles and go in anyway. But if I wasn’t happy, wouldn’t I be looking for any excuse to stay home?

  6. Social networking

    The thing about Facebook is I use it to be in contact with people I can’t interact with face-to-face.  It’s not like I’m using it to communicate with DH.  

    But it might be a generational thing.  I thought it might be an urban legend about teen girls sitting right next to each other but talking by texting, but I’ve mentioned it to several people and they swear it’s true.  I find that pretty sad and disturbing.  My niece tried to tell me that she texts to her friends for an hour at night like I used to sit on the phone.  I told her, yes, but I didn’t talk on the phone to my friends if they were right in the room with me!

    • I think the use does make a difference, too

      I recently connected with some friends from HS on facebook.  Probably wouldn’t have happened any other way, since it hadn’t in 20 years.  This past weekend, we all met for lunch and made plans to get together again in the summer.  

      Using a social networking site is a great tool for connecting, but I don’t think it should be the only tool.

  7. Facebook

    A couple things about my own personal sense of Facebook–certainly may not apply to everybody:

    I don’t know about reducing face-to-face communication, but I think it increases communication in general, which I can’t see as a bad thing.  Also, I think how you communicate can matter–if you’re using “text-speak,” that may be one thing, but if you’re writing in more detail, “correct” English, etc., that may be really beneficial.  I know I’ve been having good conversations with a friend who moved away lately, and Facebook really facilitated that.  I don’t know how well I would have kept in touch otherwise.

    Also, the thing that Facebook has done for me is to help me see my life more as a whole and less as disparate parts, since I’m pulling together people from different eras and areas of my life in one unified space.  In some ways I feel like I’m dealing with things I hadn’t wanted to deal with and accepting the influences of my past (e.g., reestablishing a friendly relationship with my former fiance, which we can have now since we’re both happily married and stable–and by doing that I also feel more willing to reestablish ties with friends from that era who I’d lost touch with after the breakup).  Even the stupid self-revealing exercises (25 things about yourself, changes over 20 years, etc.) have helped me focus and look at where I’ve been and where I am now. That feels healthy to me, probably healthier than I’ve been in a while.  

    So maybe if other folks are doing something like this, that might be a sufficient benefit to balance out the face-to-face thing.  I wonder if anyone’s thought to study that.

    • good stuff

      I’m on Facebook, but I’ve kept my friend list very limited, only to friends that I actually keep in touch with on a somewhat regular basis and relatives. I really don’t have a desire to find people from my past, that I haven’t talked to in up to 20 years. Just my personality.

      I’ve found it to be a wonderful tool for keeping in touch, sharing pictures, emailing, etc. I really enjoy reading my friends’ Status Updates, it keeps me posted on what they are up to, but in a low-key way.

  8. Cetaphil Cleanser for Head Lice- Nuvo Method

    We’re still battling head lice here.  Well, to me it is a battle because one nit on my DD’s head is unacceptable.  Until they are all gone, the battle is not won.

    Tuesday morning I learned of the Nuvo Method for head lice and I bought 40 ounces of Cetaphil at Costco and got started. I ordered the LiceMeister comb and it hasn’t arrived yet.  I regret the decision to use not just one, but TWO applications of Permethrin pesticide on my daughter’s head Friday and again on Saturday.  I worry about the side effects.

    On Tuesday we got the Cetaphil and then stopped by her school to pick up her homework (she is in 2nd grade). The nurse was in her office, so she checked DD’s head.  While the nurse and I were examining her remaining nits, my daughter groaned, twisted, fell to the floor, and landed on her face!  She had gotten dizzy and passed out for a second. She was awake but pale when I turned her over, her lip and tooth bleeding.

    I’m worried the fainting was due to the chemical exposure. Ugh, Mama guilt.

    The school is not handling the problem well.  Someone said the first case was reported on Tues. March 3 but the school did not notify people.  A notification would have been very helpful because DD started itching on Wed. March 4. We didn’t know it was lice, I checked her head and did not see anything.  I didn’t realize until Friday that the location to look isbehind the ears and around the nape of the neck.  Had I known on Tuesday, I would have diagnosed Erin that Wednesday instead of sending her to school Thursday and Friday!!!!  This is the reason the problem gets so severe – parents are not informed.

    I don’t trust the school and I’ve pulled her out for a couple of weeks.  There are still 2nd graders with head lice in the classrooms.  Parents who don’t know how to wipe out the infestation are sending their children to school to re-infest the kids with clean hair.

    I’m heartbroken that my poor decision to use Permethrin – twice- may have caused my precious daughter irreparable harm.  And I’m sad that my trust in her school has been eroded.  

    For all of you reading this – please do a couple of things.  Read up on the Nuvo method, buy a LiceMeister comb, read up on the application of Tea Tree Oil for prevention, and teach your children about not sharing hooded sweatshirts, hats, etc.  Don’t consider using the poisons- lice are becoming resistant anyway.  Learn from my mistake.

    Oh, and I asked a friend to come over to my house last night to do the Cetaphil treatment on me.  Yes, she found nits in my hair.  So far my DS and DH are clear. DH is not being helpful through all of this. It feels like this is never going to end.

    • It will end.

      I promise. You’ll get through it and 10 years from now it will be the embarrassing story you tell at family gatherings when you want to drive DD nuts.  

      And cut yourself some slack about the Permethrin.  When my sister had lice in 1976, they used something like DDT on her.  Was your daughter standing up during the check?  If she locked her knees, she could have passed out pretty quickly from that- or from a combination of stress and that.  Seriously- she’ll be fine.  You’ll be fine.

      Go eat some chocolate.  You deserve it sister!

      • She was standing, yes

        And she got dizzy because she was standing with her head bent forward.  She very well could have locked her knees, too.

        Watching my baby girl fall on her face like a floppy doll is not an image I want to repeat.  <shudder>

        Thanks for the encouragement!  I really need it.

    • {{MsMarvel}}

      So sorry you’re going through this.  It does end, it just feels endless while you’re going through it!

      Is it possible the school was just being prudent?  If there’s just one case and that person is handling it, maybe there’s no need to alarm others?  I know the American Peds Assoc. recently announced they’re much more concerned about kids missing school than about nits, and they are promoting a “no live lice but nits are okay” policy at schools.

      Hang in there.  It gets better.

      • The school is being careless, IMO

        They have 60-2nd graders and 60-3rd graders.  They checked about 40-2nd graders on Monday, 20-2nd graders and 3-3rd graders on Tuesday.  They sent home a bunch of kids each time.  Some were back on Tuesday or Wednesday.  Now, I KNOW this cannot be cured in 18 hours (short of shaving heads, which nobody did).  You can see that people are taking shortcuts.  There are infested heads at the school, even after being “checked.”

        If I send her back to school, she’ll get a new infestation. I don’t want to go through the hassle, frustration, and expense of this again 2 weeks from now.  Plus, I caught lice, too. Who’s going to pick nits off of my head? She’s staying home from school, I don’t care if it’s for 3 weeks.

        Thanks so much for your encouragement!  I am going to hang in as best I can but boy, howdy, I’m going to need a spa day when this is over.  :)

    • You have not harmed your daughter

      I don’t know why she passed out, but permethrin exposure is unlikely to be related.  So please don’t beat yourself up about that.  We tend to be an insecticide-avoidant household ourselves – my husband knows waaaaaaaay too much about this topic and I’ve had to sit through too many of his powerpoint presentations.  I’m learning to consider ants and spiders pets.  :-)   But while pyrethroids certainly aren’t desirable it’s pretty well understood why they’re undesirable; the bottom line is that they’re not all that bad and two exposures to the small doses in nit cream won’t do her any harm.

      I’m expecting my 7 year old to bring home lice sooner or later – one of his friends has it now, and my boisterous and gregarious son pays no attention to whose little league hat or helmet he’s wearing.  Is there any particular reason for choosing Cetaphil?  I’d start with one of the asphyxiation treatments myself (insecticides don’t kill unhatched eggs, but lack of oxygen does), but I’m curious why cetaphil is specified instead of oil, conditioner, or some much cheaper skin lotion.

      • I’ve never heard of asphyxiation!

        The Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser method was deveolped by a doctor in Menlo Park and it’s considered a “dry suffocation” procedure as opposed to olive oil which smothers but is very messy.  Cetaphil is not a lotion, but a gentle soap, and when it dries it forms a film over any living lice (adults/nymphs) which plugs their air holes.  Nits/eggs must still be combed out.

        I’ve never heard of asphyxiation.  Sounds interesting!

        Thank you for easing my concern a bit about her toxin exposure.  She does seem fine otherwise.

        • asphyxiation = suffocation

          Same thing.  Interesting idea to use a lotion that contains a detergent, though; I bet the idea is that detergents help keep the waxy cuticles from effectively repelling liquids.  Let me know how well it works – it would be nice to avoid the mess but I’d probably feel more confident with a wet treatment if I had to choose.

          This thread is making my head itch, especially since I consider it a matter of when, not if.  My son’s school has (I think) a policy of keeping the kids in school so if and when he does catch them (though most likely outside of school, I’m predicting) I’ll be sending him back in with crossed fingers.

          • But…

            I thought asphyxiation was from lack of oxygen, whereas suffocation could be from poisoning (e.g. plenty of oxygen, but too much CO)?  Maybe I am confused, trying to remember my confined space training.  Not that that has anything to do with lice.

    • Fainting while

      having hair done is not at all unusual.  Some people are very prone to it.  The faint probably had nothing to do with Permethrin.  That said, I think Permethrin is not a great choice to deal with headlice…especially if your child has gotten them through an “epidemic” that occurs in schools.  We went through this.  The school nurse and I finally concluded that all the parents were using Permethrin products so often that the strain of lice we were dealing with had become somewhat immune to it’s effects.  For that reason, I’m a fan of the “smother and cover” techniques…worked very well after we had battled for three months straight with the little buggers.

  9. I’ve been there too and it is awful

    My Kinder DS & I had it this fall.  I think having lice as an adult gives a person a different feeling about the pests….

    I used Lice Ice & a few hours of olive oil smothering for me repeated over about 10 days until it was gone from both of us.

    DH was also no help, even when I combed a live one out of my hair & showed him “this is what I need you to look for!”  

    I nitpicked outside in the bright light for DS & for me I bent my head over a sink with a towel around my shoulders.    I’m glad you have someone coming over to help.  Fighting it alone gave me a desperate feeling too.  Lice Ice<a</p>

    Perhaps when your child goes back to school she can wear a babushka style bandana or braids.

    • there are also people

      who will come to your house and nitpick for you, at least where I live.  I eventually did this with DS as he was so upset about the stigma of having lice (his school did not handle it well at all) and as much as I combed, there was always a nit left when the officer manager checked him.  A guy from Hair Fairies came over and guaranteed his work.  He combed after smooshing a whole bunch of conditioner onto DS’s hair to make it easier.  Not sure how he could see the lice as the conditioner was white but he was definitely effective.

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